


Hades and Persephone

by itsaconquestofimagination



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Emperor Kylo Ren, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Reader, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Hades and Persephone AU, Kylo Ren Angst, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2018-08-28 23:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8466697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsaconquestofimagination/pseuds/itsaconquestofimagination
Summary: Emperor Kylo has conquered a good portion of the galaxy at this point in his life, has unsurmountable power, a far more advanced base, surpassed his mentor and completed his training, however it’s still not enough. Recalling an old friend, one who has haunted his dreams for years, Kylo calls upon his Knights of Ren to find her and bring her to him. Though he knows it’s selfish he can’t help himself, and he tries to keep her with him…eternally.





	1. Chapter 1

_Ben watched as (Y/N) sat in the tall grass, whirling a stream of small leaves around her with a smile beaming like the sun that was illuminating around her. Her (Y/H/C) was highlighted with a halo like frame from the streams of light around her. Their afternoons almost always consisted of this, sitting in the fields by themselves finishing their lunches, showing off to each other with tricks of the force. Staring at her contagious smile, Ben sighed to himself. His brown eyes were focused on her, his expression dumbfounded. (Y/N) to say the least was a luminous being. Almost everything around her seemed to come to life when she strode through. Her smile could heal the sick, her laugh restore hearing to the deaf, sometimes it seemed as though her simple touch could revive life into things that were otherwise dead and dreary. Giggling (Y/N) turned to him with her same smile._

_“Your turn!”_

_Suddenly shaken out of his admiring gaze Ben’s brows furrowed._

_“What?”_

_“Now you show me a trick!”_

_Pausing he tried to think of something that would impress her. The longer he pondered however, the more his aura dropped. All of the tricks he could think of were only destructive, chaotic, things created out of anger. The older he got, the harder it seemed to be to simply be appeased with himself using only forces of the light. It wasn’t enough. He wanted more. The voice in the back of his mind kept encouraging him to seek out more._

_“You do know a good trick don’t you?”_

* * *

 

Staring at the fruit in his leather clad hand as he recalled the memory, Kylo rolled the round food around his large palm with the smooth motions of his thumb. The blood red exterior satisfied him greatly, especially with the stark contrast against his black leather gloves, as well as the all dark colorless surroundings he was engulfed with. A pair of Nexus deep in slumber lying at his feet, one at each side of his throne. Soon after he had completed his training, Kylo had carried out the ultimate task of defeating his original mentor and manipulator Supreme Leader Snoke. Though it freed him of his mental prison forced on by Snoke, it did not eleviate his destined path. He was in far too deep to be anything but solely committed to the Dark side. Now he sat on the ominos black marble throne, rigid and harsh in its design, as Emperor. He was finally the highest ranking soul of power on the Dark side, after years of dedication and torment, he had come out on top.

Relishing in the fear he scattered across the galaxy, Kylo took it upon himself to make even more alterations to the First Order and its presence. Taking his Emperial throne, Kylo decided that a palace visible to the public would not be smart for his widely scorned kingdoms preservation. Sending out patrol after patrol, he searched far and wide for a planet, similar to Starkiller, to settle his kingdom onto. Snubbing Hux’s efforts with the newly improved base, Kylo wanted something, something far more impressive for his Empire. Finally, after months of scouting around every system known to the galaxy they came upon an otherwise scarcely populated arctic planet to make their new abode. The rolling hills of snow covered rock were seemingly deserted, deathly silent aside from the howling winds, it was like a blank canvas. Though beneath the snowy white surface, within the rocky terrain of the planet laid expansive miles of caverns. Within these grey caverns, twisting and winding through the dark, Kylo built his Emperial abode. It not only kept him concealed and protected, it added to the eerie persona he had established for himself as well as his Empire.

Although the entirety of the galaxy was not confidently aware of where his kingdom truly resided, no one had to linger for long on the bed of stark white snow before they could feel the thick waves of energy emit from beneath the surface, making their hairs stand on end and a shiver run down their spine. Even with all of the power he possessed, his new eeriely grand kingdom and the infamous reputation he had across the galaxy, he was still not satisfied. There was still something lacking in his kingdom. Something he could still not grasp, even with all of his new found power and riches. Echoing up to the high ceilings of the cavern palace, the Knights of Ren made their way to stand in front of Kylo’s throne. Bowing in homage, they all lined up uniformly in front of his throne.

“Your highness.”

“What news do you bring me?”

“Your highness, we raided the village in which you thought we would find the princess, but it was to no avail. She was nowhere to be found.”

Pressing his lips into a thin line, Kylo tried controlling his frustration. Focusing on the fruit, he strained himself as best as he could to not crush the fruit in his palm. Flaring his nostrils he faintly shook his head. Time and time again, this woman had slipped from his grip. After years of being haunted by her intoxicating laughter in his dreams, he finally set out to find her. The only being that had showed him friendship, kindness and acceptance in the galaxy. Though she was a thoroughly innocent being, she continued to slip away from him like a sly fox. She was practically impossible to catch up with.

“She possess the ability of Force visions. She does not get them frequently, but they ofen warn her of when to make an escape.”

“What do you suggest we do then your highness?”

With a devious smirk, Kylo looked to the red fruit in his palm once again. Bringing his gaze slowly back to his knights, he ran a thumb over the fruit.

“Do not wait so long to find her again. Go to her kingdom at once…gift her one of the seeded fruits from my cavern garden…surely she’ll be…easier to bring to me after a few bites.”

In unison the Knights all bowed once again. “Yes your highness.” Still staring at the blood red fruit Kylo slowly rotated it in his palm once again.

“You will be mine.”

* * *

 

On Naboo, it was another sunny, beautiful day. The beams of sunshine glaring through the glass onto the light marble floors of the palace. Birds outside were chirping softly as they floated from one tree to the next. It was peaceful. At least for now. Naboo had gotten into hot water with the First Order when you had commanded your troops get involved in the attacks against them. Had you remained a spectator, they likely would have left your people untouched, now however they were slowly increasing their attempts to bring down your kingdom. As a force user of the light, also a former padawan of Luke Skywalker himself, you saw it as the least you could do to support the Resistance. Not to mention, with your new friend Rey staying on Naboo more often, you felt obligated to assure your kingdom was on her side. You wanted your palace to be as much of a safe space for her as it was for you. She stayed with you so often, she had grown to be more like a sister than a guest and friend. You both bonded over so many things, often practiced your use of the force together in the lush courtyard of the palace. Rey usually practiced her combat, whereas you simply refreshed yourself on your abilities in general. Despite the growing tensions with the First Order, you were not one to resort instantly to a fight.

This afternoon however you were left the palace to yourself and your servants entirely. With senate hearings happening in a higher frequency, your representatives were constantly absent. Though you insisted you join them, as the princess of this kingdom, they assured you would be safer, and less of a target if you stayed somewhere away from the flurry of politicians. So reluctantly, you stayed behind, assuring things in the palace ran smoothly. Sitting at your bedroom vanity, you hummed peacefully as you carefully brushed through your (Y/H/C) hair. Watching how the sun reflected around you as you brushed you smiled contently. Just as your eyes started to flutter shut with the next motion you heard your door creak open. Glancing in your mirror you smirked at your maiden.

“Your highness, you have visitors requesting your presence in the grand hall.”

With a smile and short nod you turned to the maiden.

“Tell them I’ll be just a moment.”

“Yes your highness.”

She quickly made her way out of the room as you turned back to brushing through your glowing (Y/H/C) locks. Humming softly, you relished in the feeling of the sun soaking into your (Y/S/C) skin, exposed in your gown. Despite the weather, as princess of the planet at a time of war, meant your time outside was cut down significantly. The little fleating exposure you got to the sun now made you all the more eager to take meetings on the balconies, or out in the courtyard. Finally satisfied with the condition of your hair, you gently picked up your dainty crown. Though you had requested a crown of woven flowers, your maidens instead brought you a rose gold metal crown that in its simple design, resembled a crown similar to what you requested. As you gently placed it atop your head, much like a halo, you sighed with content. Even in times of war, you were the beam of optimism the people looked to. You had yet to disappoint.

* * *

 

Daintly coming down the spiral staircase you took note of just how quiet the halls were. Of course during these times, when the status of everything in politics was unknown, you had staff constantly disappearing onto the front lines or requesting time away to heal loved ones. Today however, today was a different sort of quiet. An ominous silence, one that called for caution in its nature. Finally reaching the double doors of the grand hall you noticed two new guards. Their faces were not at all familiar, yet the energy you picked up from them was cool and calm. Especially for new recruits, they seemed quite level headed. With a short and proper nod they both bowed to you.

“Your highness, your visitors await.”

“Thank you kindly.”

Cautiously walking past them into the grand hall, you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Though it was their job, it seemed as though these guards particularly were watching you with an extra attentiveness. Slowly opening the doors you peered in. At the dining table, one of your regular guards, and two visitors dressed in rather shrouded garments awaited for you. The visitors smiled eagerly, quickly bowing in respect.

“Your highness.”

“Good afternoon. What brings you to my palace if I may ask?”

Both of the visitors stood properly again, brining their eager gazes to meet yours. Something about their aura was hitting you in a strong volume, though by their behavior you were sure it was their bubbly excitement. You needed people like this in your day with the war raging like it was.

“Well your highness, we wanted to pay you a visit, first to see if the rumors of you were true and to also bestow upon you gifts we have brought for you.”

Curious, you crossed your arms delicately, arching a brow in almost a playful manner.

“Rumors? What rumors would these be?”

The other visitor spoke, “That you were the fairest maiden in this land since the late Padme Amidala herself. As well as you were a unique force wielder, powerful with the light in your craft.”

Smiling as you looked between them you uncrossed your arms.

“Well surely I must meet these subjects who speak so highly of me. I have yet to hear such incredibly flattering rumors.”

“Oh but they’re everywhere your highness.”

Waving a hand dismissively for a moment you scoffed lightly. Rumors surely spread throughout the palace, many of which were positive, but you had yet to hear anyone compare you to Padme Amidala. Surely she was one of your role models you looked to when you took the throne, but not many saw you in her. Gesturing politely to the basket the female visitor was holding you offered her a warm smile.

“May I see these gifts you have brought for me?”

She nodded eagerly. Pulling the basket up to her hip she hesitated, giving you a sheepish sort of look. Her energy felt more cautious, as if suddenly regretting bringing the offering.

“It-it may not be much for a princess of such stature as yourself…but we thought it would be only proper for us to offer you something of our own.”

Raising your brows in curiosity you watched as the woman’s hand reached into the basket. Opening her palm back to you, she revealed a deep, rich, round red fruit sitting perfectly in the middle.

“A rare fruit from our garden. We have heard many a things about how your highness enjoys the bounties of nature in our galaxy.”

Smiling at her hesitant and shy demeanor you nodded.

“Would you like to try it?”

Staring at the fruit sitting in her palm, you couldn’t help but be curious. Naboo was a planet thriving with many things, but the only fruits as of late that you had encountered were whatever your servants served to you. This fruit in particular was a shade so rich in pigment it almost seemed unnatural. The shape and texture of the fruit however was very much like any other produce you had encountered in your ventures. With a smile you nodded, holding open your own palm.

“I would be delighted to. Surely if you have grown this marvelous specimen with your own hands it will taste wonderfully refreshing.”

Smiling the woman carefully handed it over to you, waiting for your fingers to grasp it before she retracted her palm.

“Thank you so kindly your highness.”

Nodding with a smile you carefully took the fruit into your hand. As you brought it closer you admired the smooth skin, the rich red shade it possessed. Bringing it to your lips you carefully sunk your teeth into the surface, hearing the soft crunch of the skin breaking. The tart flavor hit your tongue suddenly, causing you to just barely wince. It was soon followed however by an overwhelming sweet taste, as if you had licked a bowl of sugar. Your eyes went wide as you smiled up at them.

“My! That’s quite a treat.”

Their smiles suddenly grew devious in appearance as you looked between them. Suddenly hearing the surface of their thoughts your heart stopped.

_Got her._

Just as you were about to protest, or defend yourself you suddenly felt light headed. The stability of your footing suddenly disintegrating in seconds. Feeling your throat and mouth grow dry as the remnants of the red juice slipped out of your mouth, you held onto the side of a table trying to hold your stable.

“G-guar…”

Falling onto the ground, your vision was suddenly growing hazey and blurred. The sounds of footsteps approaching you seemed to echo deep into the back of your mind. Trying your hardest to keep your eyelids from falling you saw the blurred image of heavy black boots approaching you.

“What a fine prize for our Emperor.”

Unable to distinguish their last words you felt yourself slipping into a sleepy state. Your eyelids were finally to heavy to hold open. As their cynical laughter filled the room, bouncing through your psyche, you felt the dark covering of sleep engulf you.

* * *

 

Jolting out of the sleepy state, you awoke. With sweat forming at your brow and your breaths frantic, you felt yourself lying on a cold hard surface. Placing your hands beneath you, as to push yourself up, you slowly sat up properly. Cautiously your wide eyes took in the wide and lifeless surroundings around you. Wherever you were, it was bone chillingly cold, there were hardly any sounds aside from howling winds and the echo of dripping of water, the thick and uneven rocky surroundings of what appeared to be a giant cavern were eerie and unwelcoming to your eyes. Everything around you filled you with unease. The more your force abilities returned with your awakening, the more you felt uneasy.

“Even in your deep sleep you’re a marvelous sight to behold.”

The deep voice sent goosebumps down your flesh, as if a breeze had brushed over you. Suddenly you were aware of the unbelievably strong force presence sitting mere feet away from you. Your eyes slowly traveled up to the round, elevated mound of stone that led to a rigid, onyx black marble throne. With two Nexus grinning hungrily at you, their yellowing teeth flared for you as their multiple eyes watched you carefully, you brought your gaze higher. Sitting in this dark, ominous throne was a man. He was shrouded entirely in black robes, a thick black fur cape laying atop his broad shoulders, almost blending in with his lush raven locks. The amount of black surrounding him greatly contrasted his pale complexion, with a thin scar obviously healed from time across one side. His brown eyes were as intense as his aura. Filled with passion, dark, and locked with precision and purpose. His plump pink lips just barely parted as your eyes met his. From his aura, it was as if he was suddenly caught off guard by your appearance.

“Who-who are you?”

Shifting in his chair, his leather clad hands squeaked just slightly against the marble stone arm rests of his throne.

“Haven’t you heard…the First Order is no longer under the command of the Supreme Leader.”

Arching a brow, you turned more of yourself toward him.

“They bow to me now…the Emperor.”

Shivering a bit, with the ice cold breeze brushing over your bare skin, you stuttered.

“E-emperor?”

He leaned forward slightly, resting his forearms over his knees as his frame hunched over.

“You don’t remember me?”

His tone almost came across as though he were hurt. His aura still held a certain ego, but there was faint trace of something else. Shaking your head slowly you kept your eyes on him.

“No…I have never met the Emperor of the First Order.”

“Oh but you have.”

Arching a brow you simply stared at him, perplexed as to what he could possibly mean. You had never interacted with the First Order before, you had heard stories and warnings, but had never actually seen them in the flesh.

“N-”

“Don’t you remember (Y/N)…at the temple…think about it.”

Concentrating more of your now capable mental strength you focused on the man sitting in front of you, eyes eagerly watching you. Reading past his aura you delved deeper into his mind as he allowed you. He was obviously a force sensitive himself, a strong one for certain. Something about his features seemed similar, but there was nothing obviously screaming out to you. Looking into his eyes you focused more, straining the veins in your temples as you went deeper into his mind.

Then you saw it.

* * *

 

_An image of you in your padawan robes giggling happily as you sat in a field just outside the Jedi Temple, your hair braided off to the side as you wielded a collection of petals around you in a gently swirling frenzy. More noticeably you saw a young boy in front of you, his dark hair just barely hanging in his pale face as his warm eyes watched you earnestly. He looked hopelessly infatuated with you, his pale cheeks just barely flushing with blush._

_“Ben, Ben look at what I can do!”_

_Now the image of the same boy, in the middle of pouring rain, his eyes bloodshot from tears and his lip quivering found its way into your mind. He was a few years older, still in his padawan robes. In the dark of night, with his arms hanging limply by his sides he watched as a shuttle ramp illuminated in the flurry of rain. From his line of sight, you saw your silhouette go up the ramp, your parents quickly pulling you in as they looked around cautiously._

_“Please don’t go…please.”_

_Hopelessly he watched as the ramp closed, breaking into deeper sobs._

* * *

 

Gasping as you finally released from his mind, you gently raised a hand to your aching forehead. It had been a while since you had used so much of your strength. Being a princess didn’t often require your mental force abilities, but certainly required your wit and intelligence. As you felt the dull pulsing ache subside in your head, you looked back to the man, your lips falling open.

“Ben?”

His jaw clenched, his energy suddenly growing rigid.

“That name is long gone…it’s been a while (Y/N).”

“Y…you’re the Emperor? …Of the First Order?”

He nodded slowly, waiting to gage your reaction. Looking him up and down, you almost felt tears well in your eyes. Being Ben’s only friend at the academy, not to mention in general, he had confided in you multiple times about his struggle with anger. With his growing rage and animosity. He had always known just how powerful he was. Your friendship with him, made it all the more difficult for him when your parents abruptly took you back to Naboo, before your training with Luke was even complete. It broke your heart to see living proof in front of you that Ben had lost, lost himself to his demons.

“I finally have the power I desire.”

“…Is it worth it..”

“Kylo. …My name…is Kylo Ren.”

Swallowing you nodded slowly, “Is it worth it Kylo?”

He shifted his jaw slightly, sitting upright once again as he looked down on you. Strumming his fingers against the arm rests of his throne he seemed to have a glisten in his eyes.

“…It’s not everything I desire…you could help me.”

Sitting up a little straighter you looked back up to him perplexed.

“How?”

As if about to cry he let out a wavering sigh as he ran a gloved hand over his face. Shaking his head he just continued staring back at you.

“I…I don’t know.”

Bringing yourself to your bare feet slowly, you shivered once again. Deciding to look past the ice cold chill that was brushing your feet with every step, you cautiously approached Kylo in his throne. Noticing your action, he dropped his hand from his face, his lips parting as he looked you over. As you stopped at the half way point, afraid of what his Nexus were trained to do if someone were to approach, you watched him carefully. Your eyes never broke contact with his, just intensely exchanging glances. Both of your minds were seemingly silent to one another, the only palpable thing being the physical energy passing between you. Gulping, Kylo stood from his throne slowly. Almost gasping at the sight, you craned your head to keep your eye contact intact. He was like a giant compared to the small boy you remember befriending. His broad shoulders were an indicator that he was no longer as scrawny as you had remembered him back then. Obviously, he had finally grown into his body properly. With a heavy thud from his boots against the stone, he took one step forward. After seeing you stand your ground, he continued stepping forward, taking slow cautious steps until his body was mere inches from you.

Suddenly feeling your nerves growing you looked from Kylo’s chest, to his intense brown gaze. Finally being this close, you saw him, you saw that little trace of the friend you once had. Though he had this ominous presence, he was still that vulnerable being, so alone and neglected, left to battle his demons alone.

“…You will help me?”

Nodding quietly you stared into his eyes, almost getting lost in a trance by how welcoming they were. He smirked just barely at you as you heard a shuffle of his robes.

“Good.”

Suddenly gripping onto your hand, you felt his grip constrict causing your brows to furrow.

“What are y-AHHH!”

Without warning you suddenly felt a surge of electricity course through your veins, feeling as though it was pulling you closer to him. Your blood was suddenly boiling, almost bubbling with every rapidly growing beat of your heart. Your skull felt as though Kylo had taken his large palms to your temples and forecfully pushed them in. The beating of your heart was so rapid you were sure it was going to pound straight through the flesh over your chest. Your mind was now a flurry of conflicting memories, thoughts, visions and emotions, all frantically dancing through as they all collided with each other. The sheer chaos could only be described as similar to a scurry of people after an explosion. Even that scenario had more order to it than what was invading your psyche. The energy pulsing through you was like a magnetic force, mentally and emotionally pulling you closer to Kylo, as you could feel Kylo being pulled into you mentally and emotionally. WIncing your eyes shut, you felt his large hand hold you sturdy with him. His only reaction from what you had seen moments ago was barely a wince, maybe a short flinch from the sudden impact of this mess. With a sudden, snap you felt all the pressure and chaos cease from yourself.

Sighing with relief, you took deep breaths, trying to focus your dizzying vision. Hearing a deep sigh in front of you, you assumed Kylo was experiencing the same sensation. Finally feeling as though the room had fallen still you slowly looked up to meet Kylo’s gaze. Just as before, his eyes were still boring into yours, intense and dark. Quietly a smirk crept its way across his plump lips as he watched you.

“What was that?”

Your tone was more rigid, you may have been an optimistic being, but you knew now there was something more to what had just happened to you. Gently he brought a hand to your cheek, softly grazing it with his fingertips. His aura was cooling down instantly as he stared at you. Though mysteriously, you felt the same way, as if you were suddenly coming into a state of calm. You surely were not at all in a state of mind to be calm over this. Finally his deep voice broke the silence between you.

“…I’ve bonded us.”

Feeling your breath hitch, your eyes went wide.

“W-what?”

He continued caressing your face gently, “You said you wanted to help…so I bonded us through the force.”

“How, how does that help?”

He smirked, now craddling your chin in his large and strong grip.

“Now we’re connected. Now you can be what this Empire needs. The Empress I desire.”

Feeling your heart start to ram against your chest you worriedly looked over his expression. Nothing about his facial features was faltering, his voice was not wavering, his eyes however seemed unsure. With your shared bond you could feel his conflicting emotions, something that was always a struggle for him. He wanted to lay down his iron fist and tell you exactly what to do, much like he did with his subjects and knights. He undeniably knew what he wanted, he knew how to get it and he wasn’t going to let you deny him. Yet, at the same time, he so greatly worried that he had done the worst possible thing to you, linked you to him eternally. Force bonds were not easily broken and powerfully impacted both parties involved. Deep within his conflict, you could see your friend from once before, pleading for you to stay like he once had before. No matter how deep into the dark he plunged, you knew his soul was still the same vulnerable one seeking acceptance and understanding.

“You will stay…won’t you?”

Staring deep into his eyes, you saw that same little boy from the vision in his mind. Sobbing in the night of pelting rain as he watched you leave, carelessly and graciously. Quietly you nodded in response.

“Yes.”

Unable to contain his emotions you felt his wave of joy brush over you, the same instant tears just barely welled in his eyes. Carefully he brought his large palms to either of your cheeks, gently bringing your head close to him as he rested his forehead against yours. His warm palms slowly thawed your increasingly frozen flesh. Closing your eyes, you relished in the feeling of finally feeling warmth again in this lifeless place.

“Thank you…thank you…Empress.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After agreeing to stay with Kylo, seeing her old friend still inside the dark Emperor who is now bonded to her through the force, (Y/N) suddenly realizes just what she has agreed to. As the weight of her decision settles in Rey panics, scrambling across Naboo to try and find (Y/N). When she hears of what happened, frantic, Rey tracks down the next political obligation the Emperor attends, hoping to the stars (Y/N) will be there as well.

As the Falcon broke through the air space of Naboo, Rey excitedly bounced her knees from the captain’s chair, trying to maintain focus despite her jubilance. It had been months since she had seen you last and she couldn’t wait to let you in on it all. From the last time she had seen you, she was only recently becoming a part of the Resistance, still actively training under Luke Skywalker. Now however, she was a skilled and praised protege and apprentice of the legendary jedi. You knew of her origins as an orphaned child, forced into a life of scavenging on Jakku, and she could hardly wait to make you proud with her newest successes. To say Rey thought of you as a friend would surely be an understatement, with her kind and warm heart the instant you got to know her better she regarded you as her sister. She was relieved by your bright and warm aura that made her feel as though she was openly accepted. Rey was also the kind of light hearted spirit to giddly listen to all of your duties as the princess of Naboo, but also the strong and determined young woman who could easily beat you in a fight. Or so she thought she could.

Landing the Falcon on your palaces nearest docking bay, Rey switched off all the controls, practically stumbling over a few of them from being so eager in her movements. Assuring everything was off and set for her stay she sighed contently as a grin spread even further across her face. Bringing herself out of the captains chair she swung around to the table to grab her bag of belongings as she quickly hit the control to lower the ramp. From behind her on the ship, BB-8 rolled forward, beeping happily with a few whirls. Rey looked down, nodding.

“Oh BB-8 you’ll love (Y/N)! I assure you that. She’s a lovely person, she’ll likely love you too.”

BB-8 made beeping noises as if flattered and excited at once, Rey giggled as she started walking down the now descended ramp.

“Well it is quite difficult not to actually.”

Walking closer towards the palace, Rey took in the view, smiling at the way the sun hit the dome of your home so perfectly. Despite all the times she tried to come visit you, she never quite got over the beauty that Naboo possessed, each time looking at it with fresh eyes. This time however, the longer she looked at the palace, the more something inside her felt anxious. Something in the air was not the same, and it became more and more evident as she approached the palace. Pondering over the possibilities, Rey considered that you might have just suddenly fallen into a sorrowful state. You were optimistic, luminous and generally all smiles, but you could only hold that appearance for so long. Noticing one of your guards approaching her, Rey brought a smile to her face once again as she bowed respectfully.

“Good afternoon.”

The young man with sunkissed skin and slicked back black hair bowed respectfully as well, “Afternoon miss.”

“Is princess (Y/N) free at the moment or have I arrived at a bad time?”

The man’s expression fell entirely, going rigid and somewhat solemn. Avoiding Rey’s eyes he tried to look at the ground beside her. Despite his efforts to at least partially hide his hesitation to answer, Rey could read him like an open book. He was nervous, sad, regretful and also stressed over the thoughts that circled through his mind. Clearing his throat he brought his eyes back to Rey.

“Oh, well miss it is quite a bad time to arrive if you are expecting the princess.”

Rey arched a brow. None of your palace staff had ever spoken to her like that before, nor were they such a bundle of stress and depressive energy as he was now. Typically they would simply tell her to wait, patiently await you to be finished with your meetings, but this was different.

“Why is that?”

“Miss…have you not heard the news?”

Rey shook her head, now anticipating the words that were going to fall out of his mouth more than ever. With the First Order ramping up its attacks and take overs across the galaxy, the possibilities of what could have happened to you were only increasing by the day. The strange energy in the air only made Rey more anxious to discover just what it could be.

“The princess was taken from the palace, 2 weeks ago.”

Rey’s eyes went wide as her mouth fell agape and her gut took a freefall. Of course something was different in the air, you weren’t there. The possibility of what state you could be in as she spoke to this young man however, did not put her mind to any ease whatsoever.

“H-how? Where? Why?! 2 weeks?!!”

The young man nudged his head towards the doors, the more solemn side to his emotions playing into his facial expression. Following closely at his side, Rey intently kept her eyes on him as he spoke, with BB-8 rolling just behind her, tilting up to look at the young man as well.

“Yes, 2 weeks ago, the palace was called to a senate meeting. Generally the princess attends, but she had a vision as she usually does, as you are likely aware, of something happening at that hearing. The entire staff was up in arms, fighting over the fact that we worried her vision was an attempted assasination or riot at the meeting.”

“So what was decided?”

“That she be left behind, in the palace with her usual guards. We thought she was perfectly safe, until we returned only to discover we were horribly wrong.”

Rey shook her head. The thought of a being as light hearted and warm as you being taken by what she regarded as a cold blooded and heartless monster made her gut sink and body shudder. How could your staff have allowed this to happen? You were known for being a well received and adored politician and princess, it was absolutely no surprise that the Emperor was likely behind it and would see you as a threat, and a viable victim.

“What do you mean? How did anyone get in?”

The man sighed, shaking his head as well as he clasped his hands behind his back formally. Though it was made evident from witness accounts who had taken you, the event baffled the staff entirely. Given his past of dramatic entrances that struck fear into millions across the galaxy, Kylo was becoming wiser with his tactics, stealthier. Nobody had anticipated such a quiet attack on his behalf.

“That’s the thing, we don’t know how. These criminals snuck into the palace, took the place of her guards and also posed as commoners offering her gifts of their labor. A fruit apparently. …And then she was gone.”

Rey arched a brow, “A fruit?”

The man nodded.

“It was left behind in the grand hall along with one maid knocked unconscious.”

“So it’s a fruit? Who cares about a produce?”

The young man shook his head, obviously noting that Rey didn’t understand why that evidence was significant.

“Not just any fruit, one only found on the black market, or in the hands of…well you know.”

Rey shook her head again, her brows furrowing.

“No, no I don’t know.”

“…The Emperor. It is rumored the Emperor grows them in his own residence, for victims.”

Rey practically choked on her words as she faintly gasped.

“Vi-victims?”

The man nodded again, looking off into the distance.

“Force be with her, we still aren’t sure what he’s done with her.”

Rey’s descending joy slowly started to bubble into anger, and discontent. How could your palace staff be so gullible to let Emperial forces in? How had you been fooled enough to be taken away by them? Why was your staff slacking so incredibly on their efforts to find you? How was this young man speaking about this as though it were just another mistake in the day? You were the princess of one of the most important political systems in the galaxy.

“Aren’t sure? Don’t you think it is your duty as her personnel to assure her safety and well being? How could you possibly let the monarch of your planet, the heir to the throne become the victim of a kidnapping by the galaxy’s most ruthless force?!”

The young man stuttered, struggling to get a handle on his words before Rey cut him off again, marching her way into his face.

“You should be ashamed to call yourself a palace guard if you can’t even guard the most important thing within the palace walls. It is downright shameful to be so lax on finding your princess as if it were any other palace chore. She deserves better than that.”

The man gulped, with Rey’s nose almost pressing into his with how close she had brought herself. Sneering she took a few steps back, keeping her flaring irises burning through him. The laid back approach he seemed to have in discussing your disappearance only infuriated her. As her friend, no her sister, she could not conceive how anyone would let a beauitful soul such as yourself get snatched away by the Emperor. She had to do something.

“Considering how poorly you seem to be handling her rescue, the Resistance will take it from here. Allow some people who actually know what they’re doing.”

The young man shook his head, his lips just barely parting. Rey could feel his rising anxiety as she started to walk back to the landing dock, earning a few perplexed beeps from BB-8.

“M-miss, I would not at all suggest that.”

Rey scoffed, “Why’s that?”

“Our search had to be called off because of the entire lack of staff returning from the mission. People don’t live to tell the tales of the Emperor, they never come back.”

Rey shook her head, deciding to disregard his comments entirely. He sounded weak to her.

“They aren’t the Resistance.”

Rey continued striding towards the Falcon as the young man cried out to her.

“Please miss!! Reconsider!!”

With his comments only fueling her anger, Rey’s nostrils flared as she charged her way back up into the Falcon. With BB-8 rolling in behind her with a few inquistive beeps she sighed.

“We’re going to contact Poe and get the most recent intel on the Emperor.”

BB-8 beeped inquisitively again.

“To find (Y/N), we’re going to find him and naturally we should find her.”

BB-8 beeped frantically, rolling back and forth criticising Rey’s decision. Rey shook her head, looking out to the open sky from the captain’s seat.

“It’s personal this time…he won’t get away with this.”

* * *

 

Two weeks, two long and most certainly interesting weeks had passed since your descent into the Emperor’s underground palace. The sounds of dripping water from the cavern surroundings were becoming more like white noise to you as each night passed. Your newly acquired wardrobe, better accomodated for the freezing temperatures you were now in made the new environment at least tolerable. The ongoing feeling of uncertainty however, was not making this decision to stay easier. Being who you were, of course you saw the little boy you once knew inside of this dark and brooding man, but with his duties as Emperor, it seemed harder and harder each time to see him. As if a thick brush of fog was over your eyes or concealing him, you couldn’t seem to entirely look past the intimidating force that stood in front of you. Despite your optimism, you started to have your doubts.

The cavern you were in, though it fascinated you, also did not feel like a home to you. Not being able to feel the sun, was an odd and somewhat depressing reality of your location. The literal surroundings of darkness, though they weren’t much of a bother to you, were becoming a bit much for you. You were known for bringing a breath of fresh air, a luminosity to your surroundings. This place gave you no such feeling of those tidings. All you had brought, at least in your mind, was fear and doubt. Watching the Nexu’s play with one another, viciously yet playfully swiping at each other with low snarls, you sighed. This was about the only thing thus far in the Empire that you had been tolerant to observe. Of course as a politician you knew what you were getting into with agreeing to reside with an Emperor. The visuals you anticipated were always enough to make you hesitate and then recline any invitations to attend his sentences. Due to that, the only time you and Kylo had ever truly spent together was walking through the halls between his tasks. It felt as though you were not truly the Empress Kylo had claimed you to be, rather a guest. Or in some other’s perspective, a prisoner. You wanted to believe Kylo had bonded you to him through the force, in a desperate plea to have his one and only friend back, but the behavior exhibited thus far did not reflect that to you. He was quiet, stressed, not particularly affectionate let alone emotional before you. Even with your bond, title as Empress and his wife, you did not feel as though you truly had a husband. In your stay, he seemed to be more of a looming shadow that watched carefully over you. When his eyes were not directly gazing onto you, his power in the force was focused towards you and your whereabouts. No move you made went unnoticed in his Emperial palace. Both protective and thoughtful, you couldn’t help but find it unsettling and frightening as well. Given his lack of communication, you were never given a clear message as to his intentions to have you here were. Why he would have possibly considered ever giving you such titles of wife and Empress if he were truly as unforgiving and cruel as he was known to be.

“You enjoy watching them play don’t you?”

Almost jumping at the sound of his baritone voice, you turned to face him. Unmasked, his deep eyes appeared hesitant, yet the energy he gave off seemed content. Sighing you nodded, offering him a smile. Something you had yet to see from him.

“They’re quite entertaining to watch.”

Walking up to your side, with his hands clasped behind his back, Kylo watched them as well, considering your amusement with them. From his standpoint, he enjoyed them as leathal pets that were loyal as ever to him, your perspective of them to say the least both interested and perplexed him. Though many of your optimistic outlooks confused him, how you were so endlessly hopeful of things to come and forgiving of things past. He had yet to confess it in anyway, but it was a quality of yours he always admired. Something that made you even more beautiful in his eyes. Clearing his throat, he turned to face you, seeing you turn your torso towards him.

“I have to leave on a mission. My presence for one reason or another is required.”

You nodded, “It is to be expected. You’re the Emperor after all.”

He nodded in response, looking you over as his energy shifted to an almost nervous state. You couldn’t quite describe the feeling, except to compare it to the fear you felt in senate meetings, fearing everything you had presented would be rejected.

“I want you to accompany me on this particular mission.”

You paused, brows raising in surprise.

“I don’t find it wise to leave you here with the palace personnel. They may be equipped, but they will not possess the same capability to protect you as I will.”

Though the sentiment sounded sweet, you couldn’t help but wonder if by protect he meant ‘stop you’. Even with your newly formed bond and lack of escape attempts, he still believed you may find a way to run. He couldn’t blame you, considering who he was, he understood your hesitation and doubts. Despite your hesitation, you nodded, still trying to smile.

“If that’s what you wish, then I shall go with you.”

Kylo nodded, internally sighing with relief that you weren’t, in this moment, resisting him. For a man so infamous for his brute force and rage, he went out of his way to avoid arguments with you, afraid of what you would do afterwards. He had finally found you, after years of searching and remembering what you had done for him, he feared nothing more than losing you. With how far he had descended into the darkness, finally coming to terms with what he had done and created for himself, all he desired was to have your same compassion from the past surround him once again.

“Good. We leave at sunset.”

* * *

 

Sitting in the Falcon, Rey flew into a new system, BB-8 sitting close behind her as she slowed their speed. Coming to a stable rate of speed, she contacted Poe once again.

“Poe, this is Rey again, I got the coordinates you sent me but I need a planet. The tracking system is disagreeing with me at the moment.”

“The location you’re looking for is on Balmorra. The First Order is trying to take over their independent government. It should be in the capital, he goes straight for the heart of the system.”

Rey looked before her, seeing the dull colored planet before her, nodding as if Poe could see her actions.

“You’re sure he’s there?”

“They’re a weak link Rey, it’s been found in multiple intel retrievals that they have their eyes on it.”

“Ok, I’ll report back to you through BB-8. Over and out.”

With a cease to the static, Rey accelerated their speed once again with a look of determination in her eyes.

“Get ready BB-8. We’ve got a princess to save.”

BB-8 whirled around, beeping frantically, both excited and anxious about the ordeal.

* * *

 

Walking out of the Command shuttle, you followed behind Kylo closely, pulling your new robe closer to your body as the night breeze brushed under the fabric giving you chills. Even with your agreement to follow him closely, not truly having any intention of running, Kylo put two troopers behind you, assuring you were covered from all sides. It was both protective and possessive. Even with your word, he still doubted that you would willingly oblige with him. In a way, it was both annoying and yet saddening, to think a man was so unbelievably insecure even with the front he put forth. Just as your feet took a few steps over the pavement of the city street, you heard the sound of blasts hitting the surrounding buildings. Flinching only slightly at the sudden bursts of loud bangs and thuds, you found yourself a little more disturbed by the sound of screams and cries echoing across the courtyards and from the buildings you strode past. The overwhelming energy of chaos and despair was weighing on you as you tried to keep your eyes focused on Kylo’s back moving towards the main city hall. Even with your laser focus, your force sensitivity couldn’t deny the weight everything around you was beginning to impose. You wanted to help those people, it’s what you did, but you were also the type to help someone like Kylo. Not everyone could be saved, and not everyone was as they seemed.

Finally reaching the grand steps up to the city hall, Kylo turned to you with his masked gaze.

“Stay here. I will only be a moment.”

You nodded as he gestured to his guards, turning his gaze which you could sense had shifted to them.

“Keep close to our Empress, and assure no harm comes her way until I return.”

They both uniformly saluted Kylo.

“Yes sir.”

With a last nod, Kylo shoved the doors before him open, charging into the grand building to the sound of gasps and frightful screams. You couldn’t help but to wonder if those very sounds ever haunted him in his sleep when he couldn’t sleep, or if he had grown so accustomed to them they were no different than a sigh. You wanted to have faith that the latter was not the truth, but with the lack of reception you got from Kylo thus far, you were sure it was more than possible. He was so far gone that even your healing abilities couldn’t entirely save him. Hearing a few more muffled screams from inside the hall, you curiously looked to each side, observing the troopers assigned to guard you. Both seemed entirely calm and collected as they stood close beside you. Their unphased demeanors both impressed you as well as scared you. How could people be so indifferent to the death of innocent civilians?

Just as the thought crossed your mind, your body jolted in surprise as Kylo burst through the doors once again. His broad shoulders were heaving, obviously tense. Through your bond, you could feel the heat of his skin, burning from the adrenaline and anger he had just unleashed within that hall. Quickly gesturing with his gloved hand, he walked forward again.

“This way.”

Gently pushing you, the troopers guided you to follow behind Kylo once again with the two of them closely following you. Part of you wanted to question where you were going, where your ‘husband’ was planning on going next, what the next step in his plan was. Truthfully, you knew he would likely answer with extremely vague and blunt answers as he always did. Seeing as communication wasn’t his strong suit, along with patience and anger management, you were surely not expecting him to change that today. Suddenly as you made your way past the main courtyard, you felt another strong energy entering the area. Something about the energy was familiar, yet stronger than you remembered it. It was both anxious and worried, yet undeniably determined and ready to fight.

_Rey._

Just as her name crossed your thoughts, you saw the familiar head adorned with three buns rush into the open space before the command shuttle. From her stance, with her legs firmly planted in place and her eyes narrowed, you could tell she had come to fight. Kylo instantly froze in his steps, gently putting his forearm up in your way, as if that alone would shield you. Through the bond you could feel his rising anxiety, he hadn’t planned for her to be anywhere near this location. This mission, let alone this planet, did not involve the Resistance whatsoever. Her presence also brought forth some resentful feelings he had yet to resolve. Seeing her unlatch her saber, holding it in her palm, she released deep breaths staring Kylo dead in the eyes. Her tense shoulders were heaving, much like Kylo’s were as you saw the look of absolute determination take over her.

“So we meet again scavenger.”

“Let. (Y/N). Go.”

Underneath his mask, Kylo’s brows furrowed deeper.

“What concern of yours is she?”

Through gritted teeth Rey spoke with venom.

“SHE is the monarch of Naboo, an ally of the Resistance…and my best friend.”

You smiled at her sentiment warmly, hearing her defense of you only making you treasure her friendship more.

“She does not belong with the likes of you or the First Order.”

Sneering under his mask, Kylo spit back with an equally enraged venom in his tone. The way his teeth were exposed underneath almost appeared like a snarling dog, protective, aggressive, and ready to fight.

“Naboo is no longer her home. She belongs with the Empire, as the Empress.”

Rey’s brows knitted together as her expression fell. From where you stood you could feel her mind do a 180, as if assuring she had heard him correctly.

“She’s what?”

“The Empress. My wife.”

The tone in his voice, even through the modulator came out extremely possessive and sharp in delivery. There was no doubt in his mind that you should be his, that your place should be at his side on the throne he had built for you. Shaking her head, Rey looked behind Kylo to you, her eyes showcasing the empathy she felt so deeply for you.

“Is that true?”

You nodded, unsure of what expression to make at this moment, considering who you were standing behind as well as who you were speaking to. Rey shook her head, unable to process the concept of you being put into such a circumstance.

“Oh (Y/N)…how could they let you fall to such a fate?”

At that Kylo snarled, your choice to help him and his pursuit of you were not a punishment. At least that’s what he wanted to believe, he had never truly asked you how you felt. Suddenly feeling his anxiety peak at what could unfold next, he ignited his saber instantly, stepping a few feet in front of you. His broad shoulders were still heaving with aggression.

“She made her choice. She belongs to me now.”

“She belongs to no one.”

“Then why are you trying to claim her for yourself?”

“For the good of Naboo and her wellbeing! She doesn’t belong with a beast like you!”

Seething, Kylo practically spit through his modulator.

“She belongs wherever she pleases!”

Looking between you and Kylo, Rey could sense your growing feelings of confliction at the sight unfolding before you. Part of you, a part she could not entirely comprehend, sympathised with Kylo, yet the other desperately wanted to run towards her and embrace her. You looked unsure, afraid to make a choice of who to side with. Either way, you risked being put in harms way, and from Rey’s perspective there was no good answer to this. Until she suddenly formulated a plan. Kylo spoke again, through gritted teeth.

“You have no say over where she decides to dwell.”

Quick on her feet, Rey smirked to herself, approving of her own plan to get you out of harms way safely. It was going to be a gamble, and may fail miserably before her eyes, but she always had the option to duel with him once again. If she had defeated him before, it would surely be no feat to try again.

“I want to propose a compromise, for the sake of (Y/N).”

Kylo arched a brow under his mask, confused by Rey’s suddenly calmed approach to speaking with him. Everything within him wanted to resist, but sensing your conflicted emotions through the bond, he was sure Rey felt the same thing emitting from you. Your mind was going from one possibility to the other, unsure of what decision you would honestly make. Kylo gave Rey a short nod.

“A compromise? …From Rebel scum?”

Rey sighed in frustration.

“It’s for (Y/N)…and (Y/N) only. She could turn her back on either one us, equally with this compromise.”

Kylo hesitated, finding himself more inclined to listen to Rey. The possibility of still winning you over, while watching you choose him over Rey, drove him forward. He was willing to risk it, to seem civil and just, but only for you.

“Proceed.”

Rey nodded, dropping her heaving shoulders only slightly, palm still gripping onto the saber. She could never be too careful with someone like Kylo.

“We allow her to be on both sides.”

Kylo tilted his head, not understanding what Rey meant precisely by that.

“You allow her to return to Naboo to continue her duties as princess, allowing her to live as she pleases. Be with her family and friends. Where she belongs. If she implores us to return to you, we will oblige to her request and personally deliver her to your palace’s doors. Only by her request.”

The second the words left Rey’s mouth, Kylo’s anxiety a new all time high. He wanted you to be happy, to be that luminous being he had fallen so hard for all those years ago, but he would risk losing you again. With the aura you had about you in the past two weeks with him, he was already anticipating his loss. Turning to face you, Kylo began to faintly tremble. Looking down at your expression through the visor, he hesitated. Through the bond, he could feel your flurry of emotion. Rey’s words brought you some relief, but his growing grief over what he was sure you would say was weighing on your heart. He knew you genuinely meant what you said when you first arrived, that you wished to help him, her old friend. His actions however, had not welcomed you as openly as his wife as you had hoped. Yet again, he had set the stage for his own misery. Gulping, Kylo attempted to keep his voice steady throug the modulator.

“…Does this preposition appease you?”

Feeling your gut sink, you suddenly heard your own heart pumping between your ears. If you resisted Kylo, you worried that he would lash out against you, taking you out with that infamous saber of yours. On the other hand, if you resisted Rey, she wouldn’t give up. The Resistance would soon be at the Emperial doorstep, endangering themselves as well as Kylo. Fluttering your eyes shut for a moment, you tried to search your feelings. Even through the chaos of pros and cons bouncing through your head, you hoped to find your answer. Considering the stakes, the people, the circumstances, your own feelings. Sighing as you opened your eyes again, you were met with the visor of Kylo’s mask still intently watching you. You were more than positive that under that mask were the pleading and desperate brown eyes you had seen years ago. If his expression matched the emotions you felt through the bond, it would be nothing short of gloom. Swallowing, you stuttered out your answer, nervous of what was to come next.

“I-it does.”

Rey looked to you with a smile, relieved that you agreed with her line of logic. In her mind time on Naboo would instantly remind you of who you were, assuring you would never desire to return to Kylo. She gave you a short nod. Kylo on the contrary, felt as though you had just stabbed him through the chest with not one, but multiple blades. Trying to hide the sound of his solemn gasp through the modulator, he took more heavy breaths. The more air he attempted to take in, the more he felt as though he suddenly couldn’t breathe. His chest felt as though his lungs had collapsed within his ribs, straining his heart to continue beating. His gut sank into his boots, taking a freefall to one of its lowest points. Even with his anticipation of your agreement to it, he had held out hope that you would choose him. He couldn’t blame you entirely, he had set the ground work for your desire to leave. No matter how much he felt for you inside, he had yet to prove it, and thus risked a situation like this. His own wife, desiring to leave him behind, possibly to never return to him. The only being that had showed him compassion, he had silently pushed away.

You deserve this. What in your sick mind thought you deserved her? Monster.

The voice in his head echoed, only making it harder for him to hold himself together. Feeling the welling tears start to push their way forward, he abruptly stood back from you, practically slinging his arm out to point to Rey.

“Go then.”

Quietly you avoided his gaze, nodding in compliance. Despite your guilt, you wasted no time making your way over to Rey who was smiling warmly at you. Holding out her arms, you quickened your steps towards her as a smile spread across your own face. Crashing into her embrace, you smiled over her shoulder as she held you tightly. Her mind could now rest, knowing she had you in a safe space once again, unharmed. Pulling away, she gently held you at arms length, grinning as she looked you up and down.

“Come on, let’s go home.”

Opting to stay silent, you decided to simply follow her towards the side alley which she had entered from. You didn’t want to sound too over joyed in front of Kylo. Turning back over your shoulder, you watched as Kylo’s masked gaze disappeared further and further out of sight. Through the bond, you could feel your heart drop into your gut. In the moment it happened, you weren’t sure if it were your own heart or Kylo’s. With the feeling of guilt washing over you in thicker waves than ever, you turned back to Rey who was smiling from ear-to-ear.

“I’m so happy to see you again!”

Faintly smiling you nodded. “Me too.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) returns to her palace on Naboo with Rey as part of the arrangement agreed upon between Rey and Kylo. Meanwhile, while she tries to return to her normal life on Naboo, Kylo spirals back into toxic depression, his old ways of reckless rage consuming him. With his rage resurfacing, destroying the majority of the palace with it, he regrets his decision to compromise.

Walking onto the landing dock you instantly felt the change in the air around you. It was as if a cloud had been lifted from around your lungs, easing your breathing. Elevation likely had a lot to do with it, but whatever it was, every deep breath you took no longer stung through your chest. The feeling of warm sunshine gracing you in contrast to the chilling temperatures you had been residing in was a welcomed change. Your eyes slowly took in the sights around you as well, almost struggling to take in the sheer amount of colors and light that you were now faced with. Compared to the cavern which you had been residing in for the past two weeks, Naboo in general was a stark contrast with how vibrant it remained. The buildings were bright hues under the clear blue sky while the water from the lake glistened with the sunlight. In a way it was visually and emotionally overwhelming. To go from the environment Kylo called home to your own was like entering an entirely different galaxy in and of itself. The difference in aura and in appearance was even clearer to you now than it had been in briefings of where the Emperor resided. In almost every way, you were the light and he was the dark.

Rey turned to you beaming as she made her way next to you.

“You’re home, you’re finally safe.”

Hearing the word safe, you instantly had a flash of a memory. Though it was incredibly quick, you were transported back to standing before Kylo, after being bonded, his large hand gently caressing your cheek. Just as it quickly as it had appeared, you tried to shake it from your mind. If you dwelled too much on what you had left behind you would likely not be able to rule Naboo as well as you would with a clear conscience. Forcing a smile you nodded at Rey.

“Yes. I’m home.”

Gently she wrapped an arm around your shoulder as she started walking with you towards the palace.

“Come on, lets get you inside. I’m sure your people will be thrilled to see you again. They were quite worried of what had happened to you.”

You sighed, almost wishing you weren’t having this conversation. Of course you were hesitant with Kylo, unsure of what his true intentions were, but you hadn’t regarded him as such a threat. Everytime Rey spoke of Kylo, it sounded as though she was speaking of some wild animal she had pried you away from. He may have been feral, impulsive and stronger than most, but it did not constitute him as an animal.

Going towards the palace, Rey beamed next to you, her energy obviously at peace and jubilant that you had returned. As her only friend you understood her excitement to see you once again, but in the same instance you almost wished she was not as elated as she was about this whole thing. In a way, you almost wished she had taken your return far more casually. It was preferred for you to simply return with no grand welcome or charade, just slip back into your normal life with no fuss. Keeping out of Rey’s thoughts, you couldn’t help but wonder how she had even found you, what she had even been told. The ride back to Naboo was mostly silent, Rey’s aura projecting a peaking amount of sorrow, not for watching you leave Kylo, but for what she assumed had happened to you while with him.

Bringing your gaze before you once again, you saw the blast doors open with some of your personnel running out. The smiles of relief spread across all of their faces as they approached you, shoulders slouching as they released sighs of equal relief.

“Princess (Y/N)!”

You mustered up a smile, waving to them.

“Oh thank stars you’re back! We were all worried sick!”

Stopping before you, you watched them as you felt Rey’s energy grow faintly hostile. For whatever reason what your personnel had said had made her noticeably annoyed. Her shoulders tensed, her jaw faintly locking tighter as if to prevent herself from saying something she would regret.

“Come now your highness, you must exhausted.”

You simply shrugged, unsure of what to tell them. Despite not feeling entirely rested in Kylo’s Emperial palace, you were not by any means exhausted. It was not as though you had been at war. From the way people were acknowledging you already, it seemed as though their impression was that you had been through the worst of it all. Walking through the blast doors you were met with more personnel slowly walking up to the doors. The room was a mixture of emotions and facial expressions in response to your presence. While some glowing faces of joy approached the front of the group, you took notice of the ones who hung their heads, keeping their eyes to the marble floors in shame. Your capture by the Knights of Ren was surely no accident, and the people considered responsible to protect you certainly took that to heart. Some of the surface thoughts you collected from them seemed to also be ashamed that Rey alone faced the Emperor and successfully brought you back. Considering almost all of your personnel always went with a small squadron of troops, they surely felt inadequate, embarrassed by their lack of success. One of your handmaidens approached you first, bowing in respect as a soft and welcoming smile spread across her lips.

“Welcome back your highness, we are so relieved to see you in good health.”

Given Kylo’s reputation as Emperor, you couldn’t entirely blame them for assuming the worst had happened to you. There were hardly any stories of fair and considerate treatment on behalf of the Emperor, and considering none of the personnel knew Kylo before he became who he was now, they knew nothing different. Your empathy for him was not only an overwhelmingly foreign concept to them, but it would likely disturb them. Endearing eyes would likely gaze at you, thinking of you as naive and innocently misguided. You bowed your head to her as well, a small grin gracing your lips as well.

“Thank you.”

Gently she took one of your hands and guided you further through the crowd of people, assuring to keep a smile on her face. Everyone’s eyes scanned you over before bowing their heads to you.

“We were all so worried for you your majesty. After our third search party failed to return, we began to worry that we would be unable to find you. I cannot think of a being less worthy of such a sentence.”

Unexpectedly, her words struck a chord within you. Though your expression remained unchanged, your heart suddenly felt as though it pulsed with a great ache, deeply trembling with the flow of blood. You couldn’t explain where it had come from, or why you suddenly cared so profoundly about what others had to say about Kylo, but the pain within your chest was too real to just ignore.

“I am flattered you would think of me so…unworthy.”

She patted your arm, her smile still endearingly sweet. Much like you had assumed before, her thoughts on you in this moment all regarded you as innocent, naive, only ever a victim in this scenario. The aching in your heart was soon accompanied by a far more understandable faintly burning anger. Though it was not to be taken lightly that you had been essentially poisoned and kidnapped by the Knights of Ren, you were not a child. All of the thoughts and energies you picked up thus far regarded in some fashion similar to that of an adolescent. Due to your naturally caring and light hearted aura, your personnel and those around you seemed to consider you as such. All of the looks you received were of pity, a grossily endearing pity. It seemed as though your abilities in the force and your intelligence was not enough for them to consider you capable, instead it was all instantly overshadowed by your seemingly beaming smile and assumed innocence.

“Of course you are your highness. …But that is behind us now, you are back in your rightful palace.”

You released a sigh through your nostrils, nodding in agreement. Hoping you could shake off any thoughts that would deter you from ruling your kingdom you took a deep breath, rising your shoulders from their relaxed stance as you held your head a little higher.

“Surely we will assure he pays for this.”

Again your heart felt as though it had taken a considerable hit. An ache that you couldn’t quite describe, pulsing in your chest with a punch. Coming from a handmaiden that was seldom ever combative, you couldn’t help but be put off by her sentiment. You gulped, keeping your eyes forward.

“He already is.”

She looked up at you with an even more elated smile.

“Good.”

From the entrance, Rey watched you walk off with your personnel following closely behind. Sighing, her arms crossed under chest she walked over to one of your senators. The man bowed his head, giving Rey a stern but soft smile.

“You know the King and Queen will not take lightly to this kidnapping if word reaches them before their return.”

He flared his nostrils, his eyes faintly shutting as he nodded slowly.

“Yes, we are all well aware of that here. I’m sure you sensed the heavy auras of guilt and worry around you.”

Rey nodded, “I certainly did.”

“Our failures to find her prior aside, we are more than grateful to you and your efforts.”

Rey faced the senator with her torso, her brows furrowing as her typically soft eyes narrowed in anger.

“Failure was not an option when your own princess goes missing senator. I don’t care how intimidating you find the Emperor, it is not worth her life.”

“It is not worth the life of all of our personnel either. Just because they do not hold a place as high on the political or social food chain does not constitute them as disposable.”

Rey’s expression softened, taking in the mans words as she nodded.

“You’re right. …I apologize.”

“No need miss, we know you mean well for Princess (Y/N). Your intentions are in the right for certain.”

She smiled nodding.

“I do care for her, just like a sister.”

The man nodded, “As she cares for you as her own sister.”

Rey sighed, looking off to see you disappearing up the staircase to the second floor. Her expression fell as she watched you disappear behind the wall leading you towards your quarters. She turned her earnest eyes to the senator.

“I have an overwhelming feeling that this is not the end.”

The man arched a brow, turning to face his torso more towards Rey.

“What do you mean?”

“I have a feeling the Emperor is not going to give up (Y/N) so easily. We know his tactics, his morals…he’s not done here.”

The senator nodded, sighing deeply as he clasped his hands before him.

“Certainly that is the assumption.”

The room fell silent for a moment, both Rey and the senator taking a moment to ponder over the idea.

“And how does the Resistance feel about all of this?”

Rey’s expression fell blank, the determined spirit flaring through her irises.

“We’ll crush his Empire into the ground, where it rightfully belongs before he lays another hand upon her.”

The senator smirked, giving Rey a short nod. “And we shall assist you wherever you shall need it.”

Rey smiled, returning his gesture of a nod.

“It would surely be appreciated.”

* * *

 

Meanwhile in the underground Emperial palace, the air hung heavy, the cold and bleak environment slowly heating up as embers from growing fires colored the empty black halls with bright orange and yellow. The feeling, the sounds, the sights were not entirely something foreign to the Empire and its personnel. This time around however, it went far beyond any of them were accustomed to. Kylo’s outbursts were already something the galaxy at large feared and anxiously anticipated, with your absence however, it took on a whole other monstrosity. The moment he watched you leave arm in arm with Rey, his sinking heart soon became overshadowed by his boiling rage. His eyes became clouded with nothing but red as he returned to the palace, withholding not even an ounce of his brute strength. Unleashing his saber, the crackling hum echoing through the caverns, he brutally slashed through one thing after another. There was no consideration of what or who was in his way, only an acknowledgement that he wanted everything around him to feel his pain. Seeing you willingly leave with Rey had lodged a dagger through his heart and with every step you took further and further from him, the deeper it sunk. Despite his undeniable pain, his heart crumbling from within, his first reaction in an attempt to hide his weakness was to lash out. No corner of the palace remained untouched. Like a ruthless hurricane Kylo massacered the once well kept appearance of the palace to a steaming, sloppy mess.

Hux slowly approached the outside of the throne room, seeing a huddle of troopers pushing themselves into each corner. Trying to conceal their trembling they kept their blasters close to their chests as they all kept themselves concealed in the shadows. From the way they all struggled to press into the corner, it appeared as though they were trying to sink into the cavern walls. Hux arched a brow as he looked over them, mentally ridiculing them as he approached with his hands clasped behind his back. At this point, it seemed as though he was one of only a handful of people in the Empire that was not truly afraid of Kylo.

“Why aren’t you at your posts?”

One of the troopers shakily pointed to the throne room.

“We were going to be next.”

Hux sighed as he turned his gaze forward, seeing the Nexu’s staring down at a figure in the middle of the room, a faint glow of red surrounding the floor below it. From the expressions on their wide set heads, Hux could see they were cautious, unsure if they should approach the figure. Their many eyes were fixated on it, tails just barely swishing behind them as they curled around the steps up to the throne. Cautiously Hux stepped forward, his boots just barely clicking against the cavern floor. As he passed the doorframe, coming into the throne room he watched the hunched figure carefully, its broad back heaving. Despite the lack of proper armor, it didn’t take long for him to know well that this was Kylo. The undeniable tension he carried into the room, the obvious remnants of his outlash, there was no one else who would produce such a scene. The slash marks made from Kylo’s saber lined the room, littering the stone walls with glowing embers of red. Inching closer, Hux soon realized that Kylo’s armor had significant slashes through it, obviously resulting from his careless rampage. The steam from the slashes continued to rise into the air, creating a thin haze over Kylo.

“Ren?”

He remained still, his back still heaving with heavy breaths which became more distinguishable as Hux approached. Kylo’s raven hair hung over his face, kneeling to the ground with one arm holding his large frame steady, a clenched fist pressed down. Slowly Hux brought himself to a halt as he reached a foot behind Kylo, knowing well if he approached too soon his colleague would not hesitate to treat him as he did the consoles throughout the palace. Releasing a sigh he crossed his arms over his chest, his blue eyes rested under his furrowing brows, watching Kylo carefully.

“Ren.”

Kylo’s back slowly started to slow its heaving motion, signifying his easing into normal breathing patterns. After a moment of tense silence, Kylo finally spoke.

“What?”

“Do you quite enjoy destroying your own Empire? …Do you have any idea what you have cost us with your beligerent rampage?”

Kylo didn’t respond at first, allowing the tension in the room to remain as well as his anger to level out before speaking. Nothing would have brought him more pleasure than to continue his rampage, but he knew it would all come at a cost.

“What is this all about anyway? The Empire is stronger than it has ever been.”

To Hux’s surprise, Kylo finally moved in a slow and cautious motion. His large frame slowly rose from the ground, his broad shoulders taking their usual upright position as his head rose to the light.

“It is nothing of your concern.”

Though Hux stood about as tall as Kylo, he couldn’t deny the intimidating appearance of Kylo’s muscles that were notably larger than his.

“Frankly Ren, whatever is happening within the Empire does concern me as the head general of this establishment.”

Kylo took a step closer, assuring his chest was puffed forward to further physically intimidate Hux. With his brown eyes burning straight into Hux’s icy blue, Kylo’s stone cold expression remained unphased.

“It. Is. None. Of your concern.”

Hux remained undeterred, not wanting to step away from Kylo so willingly. He may have been a smaller build than Kylo, possessed no powers of the force, but he was surely not a weak soul, nor easily intimidated.

“Just because the Supreme Leader is gone it does not give you the right to destroy everything in your wake with no consequence.”

Kylo continued to stare, his unmoved expression almost disturbing.

“As the Emperor, I will do as I please. Would you rather I take out my anger on your troops as opposed to our equipment?”

Hux’s nostrils flared as he kept his eyes straight into Kylo’s. As much as he wanted to fight Kylo on this, he knew he would lose. If either of them were stubborn, Kylo surely took the cake.

“Careful Ren…being Emperor doesn’t make you immortal nor does it mean your place on the throne is irreplacable.”

Kylo’s brows furrowed. From the energy Hux was carrying and the way he chose his words, Kylo knew he meant it as a threat. Huffing faintly Kylo made his way forward, purposely shoving his shoulder into Hux’s as he returned to the halls of the palace. Hux stood there for a moment, releasing a deep breath through his nostrils as he tried not to act on his anger. The last thing a general of his rank was supposed to do was sink to Kylo’s level of outbursts. Containing his anger, he watched as the Nexu’s simultaneously strode down the steps, their slow movements showing their muscles and graceful strides. With jagged grins, they made their way around Hux, each sliding past his side as they slid out into the shadows of the hall following their master.

* * *

 

Isolated from the bustle of the palace, tucked away in an alcove, Kylo hid within his quarters. Much like the rest of the base his quarters were eeriely dark and scarcely decorated. Similarly, like the rest of the base Kylo had run his saber through every crevice he could possibly reach, showing no mercy with every strike.

Now sitting motionless, the walls steaming with fading embers of red, Kylo stared blankly at the display before him, his Nexu’s wrapped around each side of his chair. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, setting his chin upon his knuckles. Before him laid the charred helmet of his late grandfather, the infamous Darth Vader. Many evenings he had spent his time talking to the helmet, for one reason or another, he constantly turned to it in confidence. Though he was well aware that it could not itself respond, he felt comforted in his time speaking to it, as though it understood better than any living being could. Well, any living being aside from you.

“Grandfather…I have confided in you many times before, you have surely guided me to success and power that I could never have imagined prior…but I am in need of a different form of guidance.”

Kylo sighed, running a hand through his dark locks before resting his elbow on his knee once again.

“I am not sure where to begin in my search for your guidance…this is something I have never needed before. Something I never thought I would need.”

He sighed once again, running a hand through his hair once again before stilling himself in his seat.

“…I have someone I am bonded to within the force…someone I care for deeply. I thought I had provided for her…cared for her as she needed…but it wasn’t enough. What I gave her thus far was not enough. …She left.”

As the words fell from his lips he felt his heart ache. The hours since you had left had been spent destroying everything in his path in an attempt to bury his hurt deep within, distracting himself until he felt nothing but rage. With the haunting quiet of his bedroom creeping over him, slowly releasing his deepest thoughts and concerns forth. Finally, he was faced with the reality. His lips fell open, his eyes beginning to soften as his brows relaxed.

“…She left.”

For a moment he looked to his bed, seeing the perfectly made side where he had intended for you to rest. In a strange way it held a lot of similarities to you, peaceful in appearance, tidy, well maintained and smooth. Unlike his side, scrunched in every which way, messy, obviously unkempt. He turned back to the helmet, his head slowly making the move. The words started to sink into him, playing louder through his mind as he released a deep breath. The breath itself felt as though pins struck into his lungs, suddenly making the simple intake of air painful.

“She’s gone.”

His heart ached deeper, struggling to beat as steadily as it had moments ago. Welling tears to develop behind his brown irises, threatening to flow forward. Faintly his large hands began to tremble as he brought them to his hair, clutching onto the strands in hopes of stopping this sudden onslaught of emotion.

“She left me…my own Empress…left.”

Clutching his hair with an even tighter grip, his nails digging deep into the surface of his palm. The reality was finally washing over him, in his solitude it finally hit him. You were gone. You had willingly decided to go with Rey, leaving Kylo behind. He had consented to watching you leave him, in hopes you would choose him in the end. In contrast to his plan, you were back in your palace on Naboo and he sat in his quarters, entirely alone. Much like his years when he was under Snoke’s control he was yet again, alone in the darkness with not a soul to turn to. The reality of what he was and what he had done finally unable to be pushed away in the deafening silence of his room. Feeling as though his skull was beginning to crush from the pressure of the thoughts starting to invade his mind, he winced his eyes shut.

Images of you in your younger years ran through the forefront of his mind like an old holo film, your beaming smile now haunting him. The night of you leaving him replaying itself, only reminding him of how similar your exit a few hours prior was to that same evening. Much like before, someone had taken you away from him, not wanting you to be tainted by the looming shadow that was so obviously consuming him. Just like before he was forced to stay in one place, watching you leave him behind with little to no regard of him or his feelings for you. Unable to stop the sudden onslaught of images, forced to relive the reality of his situation, the reason why he was seated before his grandfather’s helmet this time around. Trying to force his tears to stay in his eyes, he forced his eyelids to forcefully push down, straining himself not to let this get the best of him. Unlike his pain before however, this was different. It was a pain he had yet to experience, one that could not so easily be put to rest with the words of his former teacher.

“Please…please show me the way…the way to get her back.”

He released a deep breath, trying to channel his anger in order to overshadow his growing sorrow.

“Show me the way grandfather…and I will not fail.”

With one small tear escaping his eye, just barely rolling down his pale cheek he looked at the helmet once again. This time his jaw was clenched, his anger desperately trying to overshadow everything else he felt deep within the chambers of his chest.

“I will have my Empress again.”

Flaring his nostrils, forcing his body to reject expressing his deeper and all consuming sorrow with any more tears or cracks in his deep voice, he took his fists out of his hair, keeping his eyes locked on the helmet.

“This Empire will reign.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) remains in Naboo for 3 weeks, trying to get her kingdom back on track. Though her time in diplomatic meetings go smoothly, she continues to be haunted by the thought of Kylo alone in his Emperial palace. Meanwhile, Kylo’s anger after these 3 weeks has disintigrated into more of a depression, convinced by his impatience and his tortured psyche that (Y/N) will likely never return to him.

Surrounding a grand wood table, beams of sunlight illumintaing it, in the main hall of your palace senators of every rank from the surrounding planets sat. Despite all the formalities between dignitaries and their staff, you couldn’t help but to acknowledge the tension sitting in the air. After your assumed capture by the Emperor, everyone was on their highest alert. Whispers spread past the palace walls of your capture, despite the palaces best efforts to sweep it under the rug. Soon enough, everyone and their mother had something to say and something to fret over. Much like your staff, the people of your lovely planet seemed to have a certain innocent perception of you. To them you were an endearingly innocent, endlessly caring and rather naive. Though you were caring and to a certain degree innocent, you were by no means as naive or innocent as everyone seemed to perceive you as.

No one except one.

Goosebumps faintly raised from your flesh at the mere thought of him, sending a short shiver down your spine. Shaking your head faintly, you turned your attention back to the table before you.

“But will these increased measures of security be enough?”

“Senator Janub has a point. What if the security we impliment is not adequate enough to keep the Emperor out? What if he manages to break in?”

One senator, his eyes seeming to wander into some sort of frenzied state as he faintly trembled, leaned forward. Pausing for a long moment, he waited before he spoke in an almost hauntingly quiet tone.

“He’s not just an Emperor…you know that don’t you? …He is no mere mortal sitting on a throne. His force sensitivity is so entrenched in darkness…so incredibly powerful it has baffled some of the greatest jedi masters we have to date. Just when you think you have finished him, he only manages to become even more powerful than before.”

Rey’s brows furrowed a little deeper as she shook her head.

“He may be powerful but he is not invincable. You should not speak of him as if he were. He is as mortal as you and I.”

The man shook his head, a disturbingly frightful grin spreading across his face.

“He is beyond mortal.”

Rey’s expression crinkled, as if cringing by the mans both frightful and yet impressed description of Kylo. The way he spoke sounded as though he was praising Kylo, but by the look in his eyes and the aura surrounding him, you knew there was only one thing he felt towards Kylo. Fear.

“Senator Hilde, certainly Rey is correct. The Emperor, though intimidating is as much of a mortal as you and I. In regards to the additional security parameters, I’m sorry to tell you that you can only hope that they will be enough to at least alert you to his presence.”

The room immediately fell silent, the tension and fear growing even higher in the energy around you. The table was surrounded by wide eyes and slowly parting lips accompanied with some faint trembling. Whatever they had expected to hear at this meeting, they were obviously not being given.

“The Emperor and the First Order itself are still powerful, and most certainly forces to be reckoned with, you cannot keep them out entirely. These security parameters being put into place as of tomorrow morning will be meant to not only alert you of a First Order presence but will effectively keep the majority of intruders and potential threats out. We cannot ensure an absolute full proof security as we are protecting entire planets and systems from a very powerful force-”

One senator stood from her seat, the chair scraping across the marble and instantly grabbing everyone’s attention as their heads all snapped towards her.

“Cannot ensure full proof security?! Then what are you promising us?!”

“Security that is far superior to what you have in place now.”

The woman whined faintly, taking her seat once again. From the thoughts you could pick up from her end of the table, she was more than fearful of a lack of security and was not up to challenging that these new plans were not enough. As much as they all wished there was more that could be done, they were not going to turn down the next best thing after your incident. The man bowed his head to you, as he gave you the same calm expression he always kept in meetings, the same he had greeted Rey’s criticism with.

“Your majesty, do you have anything to add to the discussion?”

Looking around the table, seeing all the soft expressions of pity and empathy you felt a sort of creeping chill pass over you. You couldn’t explain why, but their pity disgusted you. Something in the way their eyes regarded you made the fibers under your skin crawl, gave you an underlying annoyance. Despite your public image, you were tired of these people thinking you had suffered at Kylo’s hands or were entirely incapable of handling yourself. Clearing your throat you offered a half hearted smile, shaking your head softly.

“No I do not.”

The man gave you a short nod in acknowledgement.

“Very well. Then this meeting is adjurned.”

The senators at the table all collectively returned the gesture of a nod, carefully standing from their seats with their staff close behind them. Following suit, you stood from your seat, gently pushing your gown forward to flow easily off of your seat. Cordially you bowed your head to the senators, raising it again to see them returning their respects. With a quick turn on your heel you began to make your way towards the door. As much as you knew the palace depended on you and your presence to make most decisions, you couldn’t wait to leave this meeting and return to your personal quarters. Of course, someone interrupted that awaited transition with a polite plea.

“Your highness?”

The voice was soft and feminine, from the energy they gave off you sensed it was an older woman. Sighing faintly, you turned back to face her, her somewhat greying hair indicating you were right in your assumptions.

“Yes?”

The woman politely bowed her head to you again before she gently took your hand in hers. The flesh of her palm warming yours just the slightest.

“I just wanted to say, we are so relieved to see you back in the palace.”

You smiled, tilting your head the slightest. Her energy was warm and sincere and made you feel as though you were speaking to your mother.

“Thank you so very much senator.”

“It’s such an unfortunate and wretched thing for you to be caught up in, with a monster as despicable as him.”

In an instant your beaming smile faded to a disgruntled frown. You knew Kylo was no angel, he had more than just a record, he was infamous for the things he had done. No matter how people approached you however, you couldn’t find yourself to accept the words of slander they all had in regards to him that they felt the need to share with you. Despite what people thought, you couldn’t help but feel guilty regarding Kylo in such a way. Knowing his past and seeing where he had ended up, you couldn’t help but to empathize with him. You were no fool to condone his actions, but you knew there was a deeper story than the one people assumed was correct.

Swiftly taking your hand back you looked the woman over with a faintly displeased expression, the confusion playing out across her own face.

“The Emperor may be a treturous man but he is not some inhumane, heartless creature.”

“Your highness?”

You sighed, trying to release your discontent through some easy breaths.

“I don’t wish to further discuss these matters. Good evening.”

Instantly you turned on your heel once again, making your way out of the hall as orderly and quickly as you could. It felt good to return to your palace and have a place in assuring your people’s best interest, but at the same time you couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt and disappointment. Your friend had sincerely turned to you, wanting nothing more than to have you at his side, and you had abandoned him. As strong of a man as he might have been, you knew the truth behind his brutal Emperial facade. You knew how he truly felt underneath it all.

* * *

 

At some point in the night, you found yourself restless. Your typically uneventful and peaceful slumber was slipping into something you did not recognize. Your usually whimsical dreams were being swarmed by something else, something darker. Tossing and turning under your covers, your face winced slightly as the dream took a shift into the darkest corners of your mind.

* * *

 

_Rain was pounding down from the sky, strumming against the soil and metal roofs in the area. The sky was dark and hardly distinguishable from absolute pitch black aside from a few flickering lights from living quarters and a ship sitting in the distance. You were a teenager once again, your features only faintly beginning to resemble how you looked now. The same glimmer of curiosity was still present in your eyes as your mother wrapped her arm around you, bringing you closer to her person._

_“Thank stars you’re alright.”_

_Your brows furrowed, “Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?”_

_Your mother didn’t bother to respond, only giving one sharp glance back to the temple she was guiding you away from with narrowed eyes. From the energy she gave off she was resentful, judging whatever she was gazing at. You could feel the heat of her gaze even from where you stood beside her despite those daggers not facing you. Suddenly from behind you, you heard a whimper, a voice cracking as it pleaded._

_“No! Please don’t go!”_

_Instantly you turned around, your neck practically cracking from the swift turn. A couple yards away in the middle of the courtyard you saw Ben through the downpour. His pale face was washed out, his eyes crinkled as his lips faintly parted and his shoulders slumped. Though you couldn’t see his eyes through the rain, you were more than positive he was crying, his expression showing you nothing but pain._

_“Please don’t go…please!”_

_Feeling your heart ache you went to run towards him only to have an aggressive grip from your mother start to pull you away._

_“No wait, Ben!!”_

_Turning your gaze for a moment you looked forward seeing the ramp to your shuttle lowering. A blinding white light appeared from the ship, starkly contrasting the dark night that was surrounding otherwise. Trying to break from your mothers grip you continued to yell out._

_“Wait!”_

_Turning back to look at Ben again, your heart nearly stopped at the sight before your eyes now. The once young teenage boy you had just seen had morphed into the grown man you had abandoned just days ago. His torso was bare, his now matured face contorted into the same expression of pain you had just seen moments ago. His skin appeared paler, his figure looking as though he had abused himself with cuts and bruises scattered across his sickly flesh. Your breath caught in your throat as you saw his lip quiver._

_“She’s gone….my own Empress.”_

_Fighting more furiously with your mothers grip who appeared to be as strong as stone and unmoved like a cliff side from which it came, you felt your heart begin to beat furiously._

_“Wait!!”_

_The large man you now knew as Kylo fell to the ground, his knees digging straight into the murky mud with a heavy blow. The sound of his sobs became more audible to you, though that was the least of the painful things your dream created for you. Kylo’s once broad and intimidating physique slowly started to fade into a frail and withered figure as he fell onto all fours into the mud. Looking up to you with unexplainable pain in his eyes you watched as his trembling hand reach out for you, mud slowly dripping off of it._

_“Please…don’t go.”_

_You quickly shook your head, pounding against your mothers grip as she dragged you into the ship, up the illuminated ramp._

_“NO!! WAIT, KYLO!!”_

_With that you watched as Kylo’s body, now limp and frail collapsed into the soil beneath him. Crashing into the mud, his body laid lifeless and cold, causing you to scream out at the top of your lungs as the ship ramp began to close._

_“NNOOO!!!”_

* * *

 

In an instant you sprung up from your place of slumber, practically flinging the covers from your bed off of you. Your chest quickly rose and fell as your heavy breaths passed your parted lips. Even with yourself awake, your body continued to shake. Bringing a hand to your chest you gently shut your eyes, attempting to take concentrated breaths in order to calm yourself down.

It had been years since you had even had a nightmare, let alone one so vivid that it shook you out of your sleep. This nightmare, playing on your past memory, or at least a memory from Kylo’s perspective rather than yours, had rattled you. Given your tendency to force visions, there was nothing you feared more than receiving the news that your absence had in fact caused the Emperor to fall into his own death. Even thinking of the word caused you to shake your head, as if it would remove the word from your mind as it echoed through. The visual of his body becoming so frail and limp accompanied with the word only sent your beating heart into a frenzy. What if you had just seen the future? What if he was truly going to die? Then again, what if he was playing mind tricks with you? Or had your guilt taken on its own manifestation within your dreams? Was it capable of doing such a thing? Breathing deeply you slowly opened your eyes, turning to look out your bedroom window. Seeing the moon above Naboo in the far left corner of your window, you sighed. You could only imagine what was happening in the Emperial palace, and at the same time, you feared allowing your mind to travel to that place.

* * *

 

With a powerful thud under his weight and his fists clenched at his sides, Hux made his way through the Emperial palace. Storm troopers and officers alike cleared the way once they saw the scowl he carried on his face. As composed as Hux was, his patience was beginning to wear thin with the events of the past three weeks. Ever since the evening he had confronted Kylo, things had only grown to be worse. Though Kylo had a period of silence, where things seemed to return to normal, his next act of expression was far worse than anything they had seen prior. The damage went beyond just consoles or saber marks through the walls this time around. Consoles were beyond repair, holes had been burned into the cavern walls, troopers had been killed and soon enough, silence fell over the palace once again. To Hux however, that only meant the absolute worst was yet to come. The Empire was walking on egg shells with Kylo, and Hux had had enough.

Seeing Phasma in his line of sight, Hux continued forward. Upon hearing his forceful steps, Phasma turned to greet him, her shoulders rising from their relaxed stance. Finally coming to a stop before her Hux clasped his hands behind his back.

“General.”

“Captain, we need to address the issue at hand.”

They both fell silent again as Hux stared into the empty space where her eyes were meant to be concealed, waiting for a response. Underneath her helmet, Phasma’s expression softened, already knowing where this conversation was going to go despite not wanting to discuss it. Though she too was growing frustrated, she understood things this time around were different, having accidentally overheard the Emperor’s outburst.

“Which issue might that be sir?”

Hux rolled his eyes, shaking his head just the slightest.

“Captain you know exactly which issue at hand I am referring to. The one that is costing the Empire everything at this point in time.”

Phasma sighed, giving a faint nod in response.

“Ah yes…that issue.”

Hux sneered faintly as he began to speak, his discontent with Kylo unable to stay concealed under any cordial behavior.

“Do you know he’s refused to eat for the past 3 days?”

Phasma’s head snapped up back to Hux, her brows furrowing underneath her mask.

“What?”

“He’s destroyed every service droid, killed every kitchen staff member we’ve hired as of late with every single dish that is delivered to his quarters.”

“Perhaps he’s not hungry.”

“He’s starving himself! He has locked himself inside his stars forsaken room with those damn Nexu’s killing off anything that bothers to approach him. Do you know who is going to be blamed if he dies because of his childish little hunger strike?!”

Phasma stood motionless, already anticipating that Hux was going to yell the answer out for her.

“US!! We will be blamed for that massive manchild’s insolent behavior!”

“But without the Supreme Leader to report to, who’s going to place blame?”

Hux’s eyes wandered off, looking to the distance for a moment.

“Others certainly will. Without the Emperor there will be more than enough people within this palace and the Empire itself that will hold it against us.”

Phasma nodded in understanding.

“I don’t know what the hell has gotten into him, but I want you to get to the bottom of it and bring an end to it! The Empire will go on whether he is up to it or not!”

Phasma nodded once again, until something suddenly caught her gaze. Her attention was instantly drawn away from Hux’s rant as her brows slowly rose from underneath her mask. Looking over Hux’s shoulder her lips began to part as a faint smile appeared with them. With her helmet, she nudged her head in the direction behind Hux.

“I think I have a solution to our situation sir.”

* * *

 

In the dark shadows of his quarters, Kylo fell onto his knees with a thud as the fabric of his pants skid across the rock surface beneath him. His bare back heaved with sobs racking their way through him. His usually intensely deep brown eyes were bloodshot and stinging with the glistening of his welling tears coating them. His nose was red and running with fluid as his large hands gripped onto his unkempt locks of raven hair. The first week you had managed not to return Kylo remained at least partially composed, resorting only to the slightest outbursts of his anger. The Emperor maintained his usual facade, still instilling fear in those around him as he carried on with his duties.

As the second week came to pass however, with absolutely no sign of you coming forward, the once composed Emperor became unhinged. The pain he had felt inside the first evening you had left only exploded into rage, his aching heart no longer able to ignore the crushing blow weighing down upon it. The damage he had done before paled in comparisson to what he had done this time around, leaving far more than a few burning marks through the palace. His hurt had to be felt, it didn’t matter by who, but someone had to be brought to their knees in as much agonizing pain as he felt. Though not even the hilt of his saber through someone’s abdomen could capture the same kind of pain he felt.

Releasing a deep breath, Kylo’s body shook as a silent sob passed through him once again. Falling further forward onto the ground, his spine faintly protruded from his back as his fists continued to clutch onto his strands of hair, as if they were going to keep him elevated.

“She’s gone.”

Another sob racked through him as he released the grip from his hair to hold the his temples instead.

“She’s really gone.”

No matter how many times he said the words, the reality never seemed to get any easier to accept. If anything, the more he spoke them, the more they stung within him and ripped the wound inside of him open once again. The fact that he had been so close to having you as his Empress and had watched you slip away due to his own actions. He had laid the ground work for you to go, only to realize it as he watched you disappear with Rey. Putting his elbows on his thighs he attempted to even out his breathing, feeling as though his lungs were starting to give out from the amount of air he had released from them in his sobbing. His bones felt brittle, his muscles weak and his entire body worn and exhausted from the time that had passed.

From either side of the bed suddenly his Nexu’s sat up attentively, their multiple eyes narrowing towards the door to his quarters. Faintly growling they moved towards the doors with slow and synchronized steps, their claws faintly scratching against the rock floor. Not bothering to acknowledge them, Kylo continued to wallow in his own sorrow. If anything, they would just kill off another staff member that dared to intrude on his personal space at an hour where he so clearly was in distress. In this moment, he was far too engulfed in his pain to acknowledge anything else he felt or anything going on around him. He had tried to find the power within him to continue forward as much as he could, channeling his anger. Much like the lessons before had preached however, in his anger he only found pain and suffering. Pain and suffering that he had no idea how to heal having never cared for anyone the way he cared about you.

“She’s really gone…”

“Kylo?”

Within an instant, Kylo’s heart stopped as he heard the voice echo through his quarters. It carried the same melody he had practically memorized and often dreamt about as it bounced off of the cavern walls. The energy in the room, though still pained and unbearable, had lightened up on his lungs just faintly enough for him to breathe. Slowly looking up from his place on the ground, Kylo’s heart swelled. As his bloodshot eyes traveled up from the dark ground, he was met with you before him, still as breath taking as ever. Your energy alone seemed to glow in comparisson to the room around him, even with the hint of pain he felt within you. Sniffling he sat up straight, bringing his gaze to yours as he gulped.

“You came back…”

You nodded faintly, slowly crouching down to his place on the ground.

“I…I was worried for you…I had a dream, and it…it terrified me.”

He remained silent, just staring at you in awe and disbelief that you were before him. Given his generally pessimistic outlook on life, he couldn’t help but wonder if in his aching pain and growing hunger he had fallen off of the deep end of sanity and was imagining you before him. Just as the thought crossed his mind, likely heard by you, you gently brought a warm and welcomed touch to his tear stained cheek gazing into his eyes with concern.

“It’s almost as I feared…you look awful.”

He gulped, “…I haven’t slept…I haven’t done much of anything.”

“Have you eaten?”

Slowly he shook his head, not wanting his eyes to leave yours now that you were before him. Tilting your head slightly, your expression turned to one of empathy, your touch softly grazing against Kylo’s clammy skin.

“Why would you do such a thing?”

“…You left me.”

“That’s no reason to starve and torture yourself.”

Your eyes quickly checked his bare upper half, only confirming your nightmare had been at least somewhat accurate. His pale flesh was littered with small burn marks, new cuts and purple bruises. Returning to meet his gaze, you saw him finally fall still. His body no longer trembling from his sobs, instead his glistening eyes looked into you with a sincere look of gratitude.

“It is to me.”

You shook your head, scooting closer to him as you moved you sat before him. Gently keeping your hand on his cheek you sighed, your nostrils faintly flaring.

“Nonsense.”

His adams apple bobbed in his neck as his stare now seemed more intense, his jaw seeming to stiffen.

“It isn’t. I was a wreck…I didn’t want to go on. I thought you were never coming back…and I realized it was my fault.”

Your brows furrowed, trying to keep your thumb moving in soothing motions over his cheek.

“I didn’t care or provide for you like you truly needed. …You’re a princess, you already have wealth…you needed more. …Things I neglected to give to you, thinking the palace and our bond through the force would suffice…but I know now. I was wrong…I was so wrong.”

You shook your head.

“Kylo, it’s my fault I went, I agreed to the-”

“No.”

Your lips instantly shut once again, knowing Kylo was going to try and prove a point with how blunt his tone had become.

“No…it was my fault. You didn’t feel at home…I brought you here as a prisoner and hardly treated you as the wife I claimed you were. …I did this to myself. It is not even in the slightest your fault. I did this. …I made you want to leave.”

“…But I’m here now.”

His lip quivered, as he faintly nodded.

“And I’ve never been so happy to see someone in my life.”

You smiled faintly, leaning forward you placed a soft chaste kiss to Kylo’s forehead. His eyes fluttered shut as he relished in the feeling of your soft lips brushing against the skin of his forehead. He had only ever imagined what your lips must have felt like, and though they weren’t against his own yet, they were just as heavenly as he had imagined. Slowly his aching heart began to swell with his own sort of joy, though it didn’t play across his face, you could feel it within him through the bond. His lungs slowly began to burn a little less with every soft breath he took, finally remembering how to properly release the air. Your presence alone was enough to heal him. Despite the hurt, the sleepless nights and endless self deprication since you had left, your return cast it all aside. He sighed as his eyes slowly opened once again.

“If I try harder this time, will you stay?”

You smiled again, tilting your head faintly at his sentiment.

“I will…but I already planned on arranging for my stay before I arrived.”

His lips faintly parted as his eyes opened a little wider.

“Y-you made arrangements?”

You nodded faintly chuckling as you gestured to the bags at the door you had put down. The Nexu’s now were sniffing them, gently rubbing their cheeks against them as if to mark them as theirs.

“As much as I could. It’s not much.”

“I can provide you with whatever you’ll need here.”

“Thank you.”

“…It’s the least I could do-”

“For your Empress?”

He paused, appearing almost shocked that you yourself had used the term. You smiled at him as you watched the realization that you were accepting the place on the throne next to him in this moment. Through your bond you could feel the slowly growing warm feeling spreading through his chest. Though Kylo rarely expressed his emotions aside from anger and indifference, you knew when you felt his joy it was nothing but genuine.

He gulped again, “You’re sure you want to be the Empress?”

You smiled as you leaned in closer to him, bringing your faces mere inches apart.

“The Emperor can’t reach his full potential without the Empress.”

In a rare moment, Kylo’s lips curled into a faint grin. A grin that was so obviously overjoyed and amused by your words. Despite knowing who he was, knowing how ill prepared for a wife he had been when you first arrived, you returned. You returned, and you were sincere in your sentiment about helping him and taking the title of his wife and Empress.

“No he can’t.”

Standing from your place on the ground carefully, you briefly dusted off your gown assuring it was in proper appearance again. Gently placing your hand before him, you smiled down at Kylo.

“Now come, let’s get something to eat.”

He nodded, carefully taking your hand in his as his large hand practically engulfed yours. Slowly he rose from the ground with a faint grunt and pop of his joints, coming to his full height. Smiling at him warmly, you rubbed your thumb across the back of his hand, leading him towards his closet to assure he was dressed once again before going out among the palace. The Nexu’s quietly followed behind you both, opting to sit outside the crevise where Kylo’s clothes resided as they watched you pull a few robes for him and Kylo watch you adoringly.

His Empress had returned and for the first time in years, his heart was at ease.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeing Kylo ruined and a shell of the man he’s supposed to be, (Y/N) takes it upon herself to revive Kylo to his normal state. Over the time of his recovery, Kylo and (Y/N) slowly start to return to their former bond. Meanwhile as Rey learns of (Y/N)’s sudden disappearance, she calls upon a little extra help, convinced this will not be an easy mission.

Rey released a yawn as she stretched out her limbs, earning a pop from her elbows. Though her bed at the Resistance base was rather comfortable she couldn’t deny that the thread count and material of your royal bedding was to die for. She had never had a better nights sleep. That thread count in addition to the fact that you were found and returned to your rightful home made it all the easier to fall into a peaceful slumber. Aside from the looming idea of all that still had to be done, the most important things were finally taken off her shoulders. You were safe and in your kingdom once again.

Throwing the covers over to the side along with her legs Rey shifted to the edge of the bed. Her eyes drifted towards the window and were instantly met with serenity. The lakeside view she had was most certainly beautiful especially with the rising sun glistening against the water. Although it had been a while since she had left the sandy dunes of Jakku she never could get over how lovely the views you got to see every day were. Just as her feet touched the cold marble floors she suddenly froze.

Echoing against the walls was the sound of BB-8 frantically whirling over the marble flooring. From the sounds of his alarmingly loud beeping he also sounded as if he was in distress. Something that, even at the Resistance base, only happened occasionally. When danger was near. The thought made Rey’s hair stand on end, her neck suddenly carrying a new weight to it.

_Danger_.

Instantly she planted her feet firmly on the ground and rushed towards the sounds of her droid companion. Whatever was going on she needed to respond quickly.

Considering what the kingdom had been through as of late, she was not willing to let things slide so easily again.

“BB-8?”

More beeping proceeded in response to her, like a guiding voice. She rushed further down the hall as her mind slolwy started to reel over the possibilities. Could the droid just be being skiddish? Or was something actually wrong? The kingdom was on fairly high alert after everything that had happened to you, perhaps BB was just keeping to those new standards. As she slid to a stop down the hall she finally caught sight of BB-8. Her brows furrowed as she realized he was inside of your room. The door had been shut for the entirety of the evening that you had been resting there.

Swiftly she made her way into the room, looking between BB-8 and the surroundings. Nothing seemed to be overturned or damaged, no signs of some sort of intrusion. Even with no obvious signs, there was one blaring sign that she could not ignore. You were gone.

* * *

 

The room was incredibly silent for the Emperial palace. As though the walls had been suddenly sound proofed. Although the hour in which you were awake was likely part of the reason it was so quiet. It only made the caverns which you stood in now even creepier. Everything, even the slightest pin drop echoed at least faintly. The high ceilings made every footfall of yours sound as though it were so important and called for attention. Inside the dining hall you stood in now you especially noticed this. Every move you made seemed to bounce off the cavern walls, as if announcing there was still life inside of it. Even with the late hour and the persistent echo you stuck to your mission for the evening. Revive some kind of life back into the man sitting in the grand onyx marble chair before you.

The faint and poorly chosen lighting of the dining hall didn’t help his drained appearance either. It really only made you more concerned, taking it all in. The new scars, the more visible veins, the dark bags under his eyes and the loss of any light in his flesh. It was like sitting across from a ghost. Gently you slid a plate before Kylo, watching him intently as you took your seat down the table from him. It was, truthfully, now that you looked at it, a lot of food for you to expect him to eat. At the same time however he certainly looked as though he needed it. For a man who was already fairly pale in his complexion, Kylo’s skin had grown even fainter. As if someone had physically drained any remaining youth or life from it. Given just how malnourished he looked, you were sure you would have to repeat this at least three times. His cheekbones were far more prominent than their natural state, faintly protruding from his flesh. Though it could have been far worse, in comparisson to when you left him you certainly took note of a difference.

As you patiently waited for him to do something you couldn’t help but wonder how long he had refused his meals. You knew about his anger, it was something he struggled with as a padawan, but you had no idea he would resort to such expression past destruction. Or perhaps that you would elicit such a reaction out of him aside from enraged destruction. You knew he had always considered you a friend in your younger years, but you never truly understood just how deeply or seriously he took that connection you shared. Then again, perhaps you should have expected more from him than your own assumptions. You sighed as you watched him move the food in front of him with his spoon, very obviously not consuming any of it. He seemed far more interested in moving it around the bowl, as if trying to paint an image inside.

“Kylo please.”

He looked up from his plate, his eyes almost appearing bigger with how narrow his cheeks seemed.

“I’m not hungry.”

You tilted your head, crossing your arms over the tabletop, “You’re lying.”

His nostrils flared for a moment as he put down the spoon to rest against the side of the bowl. Truthfully he knew you could probably read him far better than years prior with your new bond, but he wasn’t about to give into you so easily.

“(Y/N).”

“I know you’ve grown used to the feeling but please. Please eat something. …For me.”

Kylo stared back at you for a moment, blinking in silence before he took a quick glance between his meal and yourself.

“Would it appease you?”

You nodded, “It would. …You look drained.”

He sighed as he leaned forward towards his bowl, picking up the spoon once again. Reluctant seemed to perfectly summarize the expression on his face before you now, but you knew better. He was merely maintaining a facade. There couldn’t be too many moments he appeared weak. Although for you, you knew there was an exception. Slowly he moved the spoon up to his mouth, slurping the contents in with a surprising amount of hesitation. You never knew Kylo to be a conservative eater and considering how long it had been since he had properly eaten, the restraint was certainly impressive. You watched him carefully as his eyes drifted back up to you. Having felt the gaze upon him he couldn’t help but respond.

“How is it?”

He swallowed, “Fine.”

A meek smile appeared on your lips as you returned to simply watching him. Seeing you sit still in your seat and cease with questions, Kylo took that as his que to continue. The thing he decided not to tell you however was that the first taste of food in so long was far more appeasing than he ever thought it would be. He never remembered food tasting so good until it dissolved against his tongue in that moment. In a matter of seconds he was back to his bowl, taking far less conservative bites of his meal. Watching Kylo suddenly dig into his bowl with no hesitation you smiled. You knew he had been holding back, trying with all that he had to remain stoic despite the wafts of food he would get. That of course all went to crap the second he realized just how much he had been in need of food. To your delight one bowl soon turned into two as he reached towards the second one you had pushed towards him. Just like the first one he began digging in with no hesitation, trying to get as many spoonfulls as he could. He even let a faint moan slip at one point, causing you to choke back a giggle. Even with his stoic expression he could no longer deny how much he needed this. Eventually he looked up from his food, surprisingly unstained from his rather sloppy eating.

“Would you like to eat with me?”

You wanted to giggle again as you realized this was his attempt to be polite with you. He had finally realized he was the only one eating. With a smirk you shook your head.

“No thank you, I ate before I came.”

Kylo assesed your face for a moment as if he didn’t believe you. After a moment he spoke again, figuring he should try something else.

“…It must have been a long journey.”

“I assure you, I’m fine.”

He nodded slowly in response before returning to scooping up his food once again. Although it was a very small and rather normal moment for others, you were at least slightly appeased to see Kylo pause for a moment to think of you. It was no mystery to you that Kylo did not hesitate in such a way for anyone else, even in moments far more chaotic and high stakes than this. He would not pause for much of anyone, no matter what the case.

A faint sigh escaped you as you continued to watch him. The very sight of him still vaguely plagued you with images from your nightmare. Although you knew he was fine now you couldn’t help but to be reminded of what you had seen. To be reminded that if this happened again he could become the frail corpse that sunk into the mud before you. Then again…would it ever happen again?

“Why did you do this to yourself?”

He paused for a moment, now on his third bowl you had set out for him. The silence that suddenly fell over the room gave your spine a chill. You knew Kylo wasn’t one who knew how to properly express his emotions, but you also were willing to take your chances as his one exception. Perhaps you would break through those barriers. Or he would break them down for you as the one exception to his otherwise cold demeanor.

His nostrils flared, “I don’t know.”

Words ceased for another moment between you. If he was going to give vague answers there wasn’t going to be much of a conversation or progress. With a sigh you crossed your arms and arched a brow at him.

“Did you run out of consoles to destroy?”

His gaze suddenly shifted to one of glaring anger. A lump almost instantly formed in your throat. It was almost like you hadn’t fully considered what you were saying until the words were hanging in the air between you. The look in his eyes now had you on edge. Had you crossed a line? Even with knowing how Kylo felt for you, you knew he could be pushed to a certain point. A point that certainly produced nothing but stories of horror.

“No.”

He fell silent again, merely glaring in your direction. Though you could sense no animosity that signalled he was going to harm you, you knew he certainly wasn’t fond of you for the moment nor what you had said.

You swallowed nervously, “I didn’t mean tha-”

“We both know you’re right.”

You hesitated for a moment as you watched the anger disipate from his irises and a look of disappointment took its place. From what you could sense the disappointment was directed towards himself. He didn’t want to be this way, but then again he knew no other way. This side of him had existed for so long he mistook the once calmer side of himself as an adolescent phase. He could no longer believe his identity existed elsewhere other than in anger and passion.

You sighed, “I understand why you would.”

He ceased to respond to you, keeping his eyes focused on the bowl. There weren’t truly words that would feel comfortable to say at the moment. He knew exactly how he felt and why he had gone as far as he had, no matter how much he wanted to deny it. Considering he wasn’t the greatest at expressing his emotions either, he knew he wouldn’t have much to say. You, on the other hand, did not want to assume his feelings but had no real comfortable way of asking him how he felt. No matter how close you and him had been in the past, things were vastly different. The dynamic between you was in a whole new territory. Not to mention it bore a title far heavier than “friends”, but “husband and wife”. You should have been able to talk this through, but it felt as though you couldn’t.

In the progress of chewing his food Kylo observed you once again. It was almost like he was a young boy again. Whenever you looked down at something he stole a quick glance, nearly blushing when you would catch him suddenly. As you twiddled your thumbs he paid a special amount of his concentration on your mannerisms. He could read just how awkward you felt, as if you should be speaking for whatever reason.

He cleared his throat, “It was because you…”

As he paused suddenly your eyes found their way back to his. He sighed with slight exasperation.

“You mean more to me than I had presumed you did.”

“…Really?”

He looked down at the table once again, as if the eye contact was too much for him. Or perhaps it was too real emotionally to be looking at you as he said this.

“But, everything after I left the temple?”

He gritted his teeth for a moment before speaking again, “I buried that inside. …The Supreme Leader did not think it wise to have such feelings.”

A chill almost instantly ran down your spine at the mention of that title. You knew exactly who he was referring to, and the very notion that he still held him to a certain level of praise made you uneasy. He could sense the unease almost instantly and finally raised his gaze to you. Though there was certainly a part of him that knew the Supreme Leader’s guidance was faulty and self serving, another part of him could not let go of how much Snoke had influenced him. He was in too deep. Even with Snoke gone.

Both of you remembered your first introduction Snoke though. Not much had to be said in this moment for you to relive that horrible evening. The night that finally sold your parents on needing to remove you from Jedi training. The very reason Ben had broken down into sobs as he watched you disappear into the night. The one support system he believed he had left, slipping straight through his fingers. You and Ben had grown extremely close in training, considering you were really the only padawan after a while that remained friends with him. That close bond however exposed you to something he would show no one else. The eerie and disturbing voice that whispered to him continually. Though it did not do much to him at first, you slowly watched as he began to crumble. It started with little mantras and soon became far more than you would have ever expected from Ben Solo. Week by week he was molded into an entirely different being. The one that sat before you now.

“But things have changed…and I realize now just how much it all truly meant to me.”

He gulped as his eyes met yours. Like a flash, all over again, you caught a glimpse of the boy you once knew.

“How much you meant to me. …That is why I pursued you so relentlessly.”

You sighed with faint relief. In all honesty you were more than content that he was not dwelling on the subject of the former Supreme Leader. It was one of the darkest times in your youth when you were faced with the reality of what lived inside Ben Solo’s head. Or more so, what shaped Kylo Ren. It was something that shook you even to this day. To see a soul such as his lose a battle within himself.

“I understand that now. I don’t necessarily agree with the methods you used, but I understand the sentiment behind it all.”

He gave you a sullen nod, “I don’t expect you to. I know it wasn’t right.”

The room fell silent again. For a moment you observed Kylo who was looking at his bowl once again. The sunken feeling in his chest hit you subtly, making you tilt your head the slightest. He felt guilty. You knew it was rare for him to feel such a thing after what he had been molded into, but you relished in the fact that you brought it forth.

He assessed you for a moment, his eyes scanning over your face. Even in this predicament, and even with your history, he couldn’t believe you had willingly returned to him. After what he had done and the way he had hardly treated you as anything other than a random occupant of his Emperial abode, you still came back. You still professed to caring for him, even despite your conflictions. It was more than he had ever hoped to receive in his life, and certainly more than he believed he deserved.

He swallowed, “I’m…sorry.”

You gave him a soft smile in response. There was no need for words. The words leaving his mouth alone were something you knew to be more than rare for him. It was all you needed; the acknowledgement of wrong.

With a sigh you placed your hands on the tabletop, “Well. It’s done now. I’m here.”

He hesitantly looked to you once again, “You truly want to be here?”

You nodded, “Yes.”

“Truthfully?”

“No matter what I feel in terms of the force, I do care for you Kylo. I want to be here.”

He swallowed with a slight shiver in his mannerisms, “But you also long to be with your people.”

Your eyes fell to the table once again. He could read you too well, knew you too well for you to hide such a blaring sentiment. Even with how much you cared about him and wished to take care of him, you couldn’t deny how much you wished to serve your people and do right by them.

“…I do.”

Silence fell between you again, but this time the space between felt as though it was slowly filling with tension. Like water filling into a tub it kept rising the more moments of silence passed. Sensing Kylo’s emotions taking a turn you decided to speak up, hoping to cut the tension.

“We can settle that another time. Where I reside and where I work can all be arranged later. Right now I want to focus on this. On us.”

His nostrils flared for a moment as he looked down to the table then back to you. Luckily you could feel the tense air between you evaporate slowly. It would likely come up again, and you knew he wasn’t going to just forget it, but at least for now he was going to let it slide.

“Ok.”

Giving him a small smile you stood from your seat and strode over to him. In the time that you had spent with him before in this palace you realized quickly how little affection he expressed towards you. Despite knowing that he truly felt it, you wanted him to express it. If that meant you had to take the first steps you were going to do it.

Within a few short strides you were by his seat, greeted by his curious gaze. Despite being able to read your thoughts you could tell he was not focused whatsoever on trying to do so. He watched you intently, his eyes scanning you once over, as you stepped closer to him. You could already tell he was unfamiliar with what you were doing and had no clear idea of where you were going with it. Gently you leaned towards him and gave his cheek a soft and chaste peck. Almost instantly you felt the heat rush to his pale cheek, earning a smirk from you. You didn’t have to do much of anything to warrant a reaction from him.

Just as you pulled away suddenly your nose scrunched up in disgust. Almost instantly Kylo noticed and was suddenly extremely self conscious. Were you that disgusted to show him affection? Did he do something?

“What?”

You snorted, “You umm…you don’t smell great.”

Kylo’s blush grew a shade deeper. That was one thing he had almost entirely forgotten. In the time that you had left him he had not even considered his own personal hygiene. Now in thinking about it he felt embarrassed. How had he not noticed it himself? Was he that consumed with his own thoughts that his other senses shut down?

“Oh.”

Carefully you stroked your hand over his shoulder, hoping to give some semblance of sympathy.

“When was the last time you bathed properly?”

Kylo sat still for a couple of moments, seeming to consider the question with a great amount of concentration. Considering you were only asking about his bathing habits, the passing seconds of no response only made your concern grow. Your brows raised as seconds turned considerably close into minutes. Soon your hand dropped from his shoulder and tucked under your arm as you crossed your arms under your chest. You knew he was in sad shape after you left but you had no idea he would take it that far. Tilting your head slightly you tried to look into his eyes as he avoided your gaze.

“Kylo, when did you last bathe?”

He cleared his throat, “I’m not entirely sure.”

You sighed deeply, “That’s quite frankly disgusting. But we can fix that.”

Gently you patted him on the shoulder and tried to budge him from his seat. Being the behemoth he was now it required a little extra shove on your behalf to even make him shift.

“Come on.”

He released a subtle groan as he stood from his chair. You weren’t certain if it was from strain or just general annoyance of the situation. Being as strong and intelligent as he was, he hated moments like this. It made him appear weak. He also was more than reluctant to admit just how far he had fallen when he realized you were not returning as soon as he had hoped you would. Never in his life did he think he would be this affected by one person. The Master of the Knights of Ren himself, weak in the knees for a long lost friend. Weak enough that he would cease to care for himself as he should for almost weeks on end.

“Why can’t I just go on my own?”

You gave him a smirk, “Cause I know you. You’ll barely do anything that suffices as bathing and stride out of there like you’ve earned a medal.”

As he stood you gripped onto his left wrist and began dragging him behind you. Although it had been a little while since you had been in the Emperial abode, you remembered enough of the layout to get around. Kylo just followed behind you, pretending as though he were much weaker so you could drag him along like a rag doll. Although arguably if you weren’t being playfuly you could easily throw him around if you really wanted to. Seeing you guide him along he smirked, thoughts swirling around in his head. He knew you were right. He didn’t care about these things as much as you did or would push him to. An influence like you was sometimes needed to push him in the right direction. Even if it was for something as small and mundane as properly bathing.

“You’re going to watch me then?”

Heat suddenly surfaced in your cheeks. You hadn’t considered what that sounded like until after you said it.

You cleared your throat, “Well…”

He smirked to himself at how you seemed to suddenly be at a loss for words. You very rarely ran out of things to say, considering how quick on your toes you were as well as intelligent. It seemed as though Kylo found the one loophole to that and he was certainly going to hold onto it.

“You could always bathe with me, assure I do as I should.”

Your cheeks now felt as though they were on fire. Though you were no stranger to such things nor had you never had thoughts like that cross your mind, hearing Kylo say it aloud felt different. The tangible reality seemed to make you flustered a little more than you had expected. Not to mention with his deep voice it sounded a lot more alluring than you would have thought.

“I-I don’t know if I should-”

Your steps towards the washroom suddenly grew slower, to which Kylo took notice.

He chuckled faintly. “If you’re not comfortable you don’t have to stay in the room.”

You turned to him for a moment, giving him an earnest smile. The tone in his voice and the sentiment of respect warmed your heart ever so slightly.

“Thank you. …I think I can handle being in the same room as you while you bathe though.”

Kylo squeezed your hand ever so slightly, “Let’s go then.”

You gave him a playful smirk, “I will be judging you on how thorough you are.”

“Will you?” “You don’t understand how bad it is.”

He stopped for a moment as his brows knitted together, “Is it really-”

“Yep, come on.”

* * *

 

Rey swiftly made her way past console after console, almost shoving people out of her path. She hardly even made out the faces she was striding past. BB-8 whirled closely behind her, trying not to crash into the passers-by. With just how fast she was making her way through the control room there was a definite breeze that followed her presence.

After seeing you were missing from your kingdom yet again, Rey knew things had to go a different route. She may have been able to take on Kylo, but there was only so much that she could do. Although the same could be said about Kylo, she knew they both would look for backup sooner than later. Considering how determined Kylo was to find you it would only be a matter of time before her next attempt to rescue you would warrant a much larger response from him. The anger and distress within her about what had happened was almost palpable in the air. She carried an aura far more aggressive than what was typical for her. If more people on the base were force sensitive she was sure she would be leaving people in whispers behind her as she passed their respective posts. In a place this bustling however, it seemed all too common place.

Finally after Rey had gone considerably deep into the room she found who she was looking for. Although she was already going pretty fast she almost broke into a momentary sprint just to make a few moments pass quicker.

“General Organa!”

Leia instantly looked up from the holopads held before her, the individuals holding them looking up to Rey as well. Though this was a common occurence in the Resistance base, Leia couldn’t shake the feeling that something else was going on with Rey.

“Yes?”

Rey swallowed as she tried to compose herself from her prior state of frantic rushing.

“There is something I must speak to you about.”

“Rey I am reviewing our next move against the Order, can it wait?”

Rey took a few steps closer to Leia, hoping with her dormant force sensitivity she could sense Rey’s distress.

“This does pertain to the Order.”

Leia stared back at her for a moment, silent and unmoved. The expression on Rey’s face soon changed to what she was truly feeling inside for you. Worry. Within an instant Leia picked it up.

“One member in particular.”

As silence fell between them again Leia’s expression instantly changed. There weren’t many words that had to be exchanged to know who Rey was referring to. Without even looking to her sides Leia dismissed the officers beside her, allowing them to break off into their own meeting. With a few steps forward Leia brought herself right before Rey, her eyes adamant with attention.

“What?”

Rey’s nostrils faintly flared as she tried to calm her breathing, trying not to gasp straight into Leia’s face.

“The Emperor…he’s set off on a different venture. …One that could change everything.”

Leia sighed as her heart grew heavy. There was no true way to grow used to hearing about her son as a third party. Not to mention as the enemy.

“What venture?”


End file.
